We'll Have to Hold off a Few Years for First Mormon President

I was willing to throw the weight of my support and renown behind Mitt Romney even though he is a Mormon and not a Christian because he stood for ideas and ideals that I approve of.  He was willing to let big business brush away the restrictions of regulations and therefore have better access to the economy and help the middle class.

He was willing to keep marriage monogamous, in spite of his beliefs, and define it as between a male and a female.  He was willing to prevent babies from being killed by their mothers in the womb shouting of "legitimate rape" when it was probably illegitimate rape if they got pregnant.

He was going to get the government out of our hair, this time for good!

But he lost the election.  Why did he lose?  Because he never signed "Porcupinetaxi's pledge to honor God."
I gave him several opportunities, and even had my friend Mike Huckabee call his cell phone, but he was napping on the bus and never returned his call.  If Mitt had signed my pledge, he would have garnered the votes to win.

I am sure of it.