Remember Jesus is the Reason for the Season

Remember that the whole reason we celebrate Christmas and New Years is because of the Birth of Christ. Jesus is the Reason for the season!

Party crashers In White House

That would never have happened if Bush were still president. I can't believe that Obama actually shook hands with those reality stars who snuck into the white House. He sucks!

Thank You for Not Shopping At Macy's

The people at Macy's are unholy and there are a bunch of pickpockets hired by the store to steal your money while the ladies who work there distract you. Do not shop at Macy's!

Balloon Boy's Dad Voted for Obama

That idiot dad who called in a false 911 call to report his kid flying away in a balloon, probably voted for Mister Obama. It seems that he is from an area that disrespects the law and supported Mister Obama. I call him Mister Obama because I don't think he deserves to be called President.

Mister Obama? It sounds like some kind of a ship's captain from an old Humphrey Bogart movie! Ha ha!

If Norway is the Best Place To Live Why Doesn't Gallup Go There!?

How dare the people recently polled declare that Norway is the best place to live. Can kids go on country picnics with pie eating contests in Norway? I don't think so. What about small farmer making a living off the land in small town America? Won't happen in Norway! Too frozen.

A recent survey of American schoolchildren found that a large majority of them didn't find Norway important enough to learn to spell its name nor learn the capital. I think this indicates how important Norway really is. Most kids in Norway end up as sardine fishermen and housewives who needlessly worry about them. Deadliest catch? I don't think so.

So Don't tell me that Norway is better than America. I don't see Gallup moving there, do I?

Why Should We Help People Just Because They Are Sick?

The way these health care (should read health scare!) plans are set up, healthy people's money will be siphoned out of their wallets so that sick people will get treatment. Hello? Does something sound out of sync here? I mean, why should I be paying doctors' bills when I don't need a doctor? And why should I pay for someone who God chose to strike ill for mysterious reasons.

The good Lord has blessed me with good health, and I am ever so grateful. US government, keep your hands out of my pockets!

Mister Obama's Speech

Obama is not a doctor. What does he know about healthcare? If he gave me medicine, I would call the police.

Now, the Republicans had a real doctor respond to Obama's speech. He knows what he is talking about. If we reform health care, the government will take over health care and you will have politicians deciding what kind of medicine you take.

I don't know about you. If I get sick, I prefer to see a doctor--not a witch-doctor!

healthcare.gop.gov

Everyone Cut and Paste This!

No one should die because they cannot afford health care due to Democrat tax hikes, and no one should go broke because they get sick from seeing Obama on TV.

Death Panels: Not Such a Good Idea

Sarah Palin valiantly pointed out that the idea of death panels is an immoral idea. I second the motion! I don't think it's fair for Mister Obama to decide who lives and who dies. Suppose your grandma has a disease and needs expensive medicine to save her life. With death panels, if Obama doesn't like the looks of your grandma, she goes on a list with a skull and crossbones at the top of it. Then she has to watch a movie about nature and they kill her off with a poison cookie.

No, sorry. No healthcare reform for me! We have the best system in the world. It works perfectly. You want to know what my grandma says? "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" I sure hope you won't kill her for saying that.

It's Time For the Airlines to Get With The Times

I can't believe that the a**holes at American Airlines won't let me talk on my cell phone during the flight! They wouldn't let the old lady in the seat next to me use the phone either. And get this: They won't let you make a call on your own phone in their plane, even though you paid your hard-earned money for an overpriced ticket!

It is time for the airlines to get with the times. I don't want to sit quietly and read on a plane, I am a blogger and I have to constantly follow down leads for topics and stories. Plus, I find it interesting to listen in on callers in nearby seats to hear what they have to say. Don't judge me. I know you do it too!

It would just be better for everyone if the airlines would get with the times and let people talk. Haven't they heard of freedom of speech?

I recently flew to Las Vegas, by the way. It was beautiful. I heard some great crooners and got some cheap lobster dinners. I didn't gamble, so don't worry. It is against my religion.

Schoolchildren Don't know the Capital of Norway

People blamed George W Bush because American schoolchildren did not know the capital of Norway. Well, Obama has been president for seven months and look at the state of education. The kids still do not know the capital of Norway.

It seems that Obama's education iniatives get an F-.

By the way, the capital of Norway?
The letter "N."

LOL

Obamacare is Making Me Sick

I went to my doctor today because I dropped a car battery on my toe and had to wait six hours for some service. The girl at the counter was shouting in some strange foreign language to some other foreigners in the back. Since I was there so long, I struck up a conversation with the old lady next to me. She was nice, even though she was from another country. I said, "What are they yelling about?" She said that someone stole that receptionist's flip flop! What kind of doctor's office is this?!

Obamacare hasn't even started and already things are a disaster. Can you imagine how much things will deteriorate after congress and Mister Obama institute their socialized health care plot!

Tribute to Michael Jackson

Let's say a few words in memory of the King of Pop. Gone too soon.

Why Is Obama Talking to Terrorists?

I told you this would happen. Obama is over there in Egypt, eating falafels and shaking hands with those terrorists. And all those terrorists are cheering for him. I bet they think they bought tickets for an Osama speech!

A rose by any other name....LoL

Supreme Court or Taco Supreme?!!!

What could be more un-American than to nominate an illegal alien for the supreme court? I have information that strongly suggests that that señora who Mister Obama nominated for the Supreme Court used to be making taco supremes at the local Taco Bell. I am not being racist, but, has anyone asked her for a green card? I have seen no evidence whatsoever that shows this lady to have papers.

Wouldn't it be simpler and safer to just put an American man on the Supreme Court?

Economic Times Call For Double Duty!

It is definitely time to weaponize the Hubble Space Telescope. The US taxpayer can not afford to shell out hard-earned cash so that astronauts can fly around the globe on frivolous junkets to talk to schoolchildren long distance and mess around with "mirrors the size of refrigerators."

I do just fine with my 3X5 mirror in my apartment. Most of the women in my apartment building look at me and compliment me on my style. So the mirror seems to work! NASA shouldn't even have to repair a mirror. What? Are they going to tell us that it is worn out? How do you wear out a mirror? By looking at it too often???

Budget constraints demand that we put the Hubble Telescope on double duty. We must weaponize it now. A "telescope" orbiting the Earth, equipped with lasers and nuclear missiles would send a definite message to the terrorists. They would be looking up all the time.

It is time to make the world safer by weaponizing the Hubble Space Telescope.

Obama's Joke about Cheney is not Funny

I just want everyone to know that I do not find Obama's joke about former Vice President Cheney to be funny. He said that Cheney was busy writing his memoirs with the working title as: "How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People." That kind of humor is offensive and in bad taste. Well it's no wonder that nobody thinks he's funny.

If he thinks he is the next Flip Wilson, he has another thing coming!

Shut The Border With Mexico

If Obama had any guts he would close the border with Mexico ipso facto, which is Spanish for ASAP. Every time one of those guys comes over to take one of our jobs, he brings germs, microbes, and pestilence. If we close the border now, Americans will stay healthy and we can lead the world the way we are supposed to.

I am not saying anything against the Mexicans. Some of my best friends have Spanish surnames. But they were born in America. If those guys from south of the border get a fever and feel woozy, they can put on a mask and head over to Cuba--since they think the commies have such a good health care system.

We Have a Crisis and Obama's Traveling Around

Obama has spent more time out of the country than in the country. We should buy him a cruise ship and park it on the Potomac. One day he is hugging a Frenchwoman and the next he is comparing Hungarian Goulash with Louisiana Cajun Frickazee!

Last time he was on the news, he was stuffing his face with tacos in Mexico!

Hey, Barak, don't drink the water!

LOL

Photographers Caught OBama Shaking Hands with Chavez

Well, I bet Obama's face was red when he noticed that a news photographer caught him shaking hands with his socialist buddy, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. This happened just yesterday at the Summit of the Americas, which is being held on some unknown island in the Caribbean. Next thing you know, he is going to be showering with Castro!

I told you this would happen!

What a Faux Pas

I can't believe Michelle Obama touched the Queen of England. Everyone knows that you are not supposed to touch the Queen of England. Sounds like the Obamas might fit in better at a cheese steak shop on the south side of Chicago. Ha ha ha.

Let AIG Executives Keep Their Bonus

We have to look at it two ways:
1. AIG Executives are used to a certain standard of living.
2. End times are coming.

When I get a good tip in my taxicab, I am happy and I go out and buy some nicotine patches and maybe a burger. If fancy Wall Street Executives don't get their bonuses, they won't have money to give me a tip. HellO?!!! That means the Wallgreens won't get their money for the nicotine patches and the In and Out Burger won't get their cash either. It is like a constipated intestine for the economy. As much as you might not like it from your perspective, the bonuses are like the Ex-lax to make the economy regular.

Also, if we look at the big picture, end times are coming. If we just stop worrying about little things, they will take care of themselves, because Jesus is coming! Soon!

Obama's Making Enemies

Obama keeps going on television and cancelling our favorite shows. This makes me mad. Not only does he ruin the economy, he keeps us from being able to forget about it for a while by watching our favorite shows.

On another note. Yes, I was banned from Twitter, and I am proud of it.

I Couldn't Think of A Better Leader

I nominate Rush Limbaugh for the head of the RNC. He is definitely more famous than the present leader, and he doesn't ever put his foot in his mouth, like our current head. One thing about Rush, you know what his opinions are. No to murdering pre-born babies through abortion, check. No to homosexuals getting special rights, check. Yes to helping the economy by cutting taxes for everyone (Hey, rich people have rights, too!), check.

One more thing, Rush is not a racist or sexist and his problems with oxy-contin were blown way out of proportion by the liberal news media. I am fully aware that an addiction to oxy-contin can lead to damage to the hearing apparatus, but, and this is a big but, RUSH LIMBAUGH'S NEED FOR A COCHLEAR IMPLANT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS DRUG PROBLEM. I AM CALLING THE PRESS OUT. STOP PUNISHING HIM FOR A COINCIDENCE. He just happened to get a hearing problem, while boldly kicking a tough habit, so God provided him with enough money to avoid deafness with an expensive operation, and now he is better than ever.

Listen to him on the radio. You will say:

Ditto!

Obama's Popularity is a Result of Trickery

There's no way that Obama's ratings could be that high. I am sure that this is the result of some kind of trickery. We just have to figure out what is happening. By the way, why aren't there more tax cuts in the stimulus package? The Bush tax cuts were just beginning to improve the economy and if the economy improves, I give credit to the Bush tax cuts!

Americans Must Stick Together

We have got to stick together. These economic times brought about by this Obama Recession are rough for all of us. The only way to beat it is for all Republicans to stick together to make sure that Obama is not successful. Filibuster away! If we can hold out, then Obama will be marked as a failure and we can win the White House back in four years.

Methinks the Democrats Trying a Little too Hard

If the Democrats think they are going to legitimize Obama's presidency just by showing up in droves to Washington DC, well, they got another thing coming.

Don't blame me. I voted for McCain!!!


Porcupinetaxi