Let's all Wish Cheney Well

The vice president was released from surgery to fine-tune his pacemaker. Now his heart has the precision of a finely tuned American made watch! I don't know if any of my readers remember the old TV series starring Lee Majors: "The Six Million Dollar Man." Well Dick Cheney is my hero, my "Six Billion Dollar Man!"

Some of you may have not known that Cheney was acting as president while President Bush underwent anesthesia for a procedure where a modern camera was run through his anus, ascending, transverse, and descending colon. We all breathed a sigh of relief when none of the polyps were found to be cancerous. Thank God.

During the entire time that Dick Cheney was serving as president things went off without a hitch. I would say that he is more than ready for the job. Obvious question: Why doesn't Dick run for pres in 2008? I think he would kick ass!

Give Noreiga a Green Card

Remember old Manuel Noreiga? He was arrested and incarcerated by U.S. troops for his Anti-America comments in 1989 while he was the strongman in charge of Panama. President Reagan, bless his soul, once referred to him as Old Pineapple Face.

Well, Manny's sentence is about to come to an end and it is time to let bygones be bygones. In an interview with Trinity Press, he stated that he is sorry for what he did and now accepts Jesus Christ as his own personal savior. Let me tell you, it doesn't get any better than that.

We must forgive him, not only because we are a Christian Nation, but because we need his help. We tried to give democracy to the Iraqis, but those Moslems just went into civil war mode. The only way they will accept our values is with a Christian Democracy, implemented from the top-down.

I know that the President Bush reads this blog. Mr. President, Manny is our man! Heck, We could even print a picture of a pineapple on their money.

I Want my Chinese Butler

I have come up with an ingenious idea to stop illegal immigration. If we take away the jobs, then those freeloaders from South of the border won't feel so motivated to come here. How are we going to take away the jobs? Easy.

In China, you can go to prison for treason just for saying you don't like the premier's haircut. Once you are in prison, you are fair game for working as slave labor in a factory which exports toys, or other products to the West. Well, if we bring some of these Chinese convicts to the USA, we can put them to work and we won't even have to pay them!

If we give them the jobs that illegals traditionally take, the jobs Americans don't want, then presto! No jobs no Mexicans. Everybody wins. Heck, they might begin selling egg foo young at Taco Bell. LoL

Californicators are At it Again

I tell you, it is rough living in a state run by so many bumbling liberals who don't think things through. The Golden State should be called The Homo State!

It was reported in the LA Times that a bill backed by liberals in the state government was narrowly defeated. This bill was to make spaying or neutering your pet mandatory for all pet owners in the state!

Could you imagine if this passed? It could have been called the "Pussydog Act." It would have rendered all dogs in the most populous state either gay or lesbian. The Mexican dogfights in East LA would turn into canine homo porno. Seeing eye dogs might lead a blind person into on-rushing traffic just because they want to avoid splashing through a mud puddle and getting their coat dirty. What is the next law they will pass? To have all dogs hair done each Friday, with pink bows, under pain of death?

Imagine if this law spread to other states. I can see it now: "Sled dogs drop out of Iditerod race in order to have a pedicure!"

I thank Jesus for answering my prayers for not letting this ridiculous law pass. My dog thanks Jesus too!

Scoot out of THe WAy!

Ha ha. Scooter is not going to have to serve time. An that "hefty fine" is nothing for him. Don't mess with the administration. Now, I know that the president reads my blog.

Read my lips: P-A-R-D-O-N.

The liberal press don't know what hit them. Ha.

Scooter, I trust you with my secrets any time.

Monica Lewinskii Doesn't Endorse Hillary Clinton

When a reporter asked Monica Lewinskii if she supported Hillary Clinton for president, she remained quiet. I wonder why she didn't endorse Clinton?

It seems that she has finally learned to keep her mouth shut when it comes to the Clintons.