Huckabee! Huckabee! Huckabee!

Well, my personal friend, Mike Huckabee has started a historical process. He has begun an investigational committee into the feasibility of creating a panel to research the benefits of his running for the presidency of the United States!

I know that my pal, Mike Huckabee, will have a lot of damage control and cleanup after so many years with the Democrat Party in the White House, but he is definitely up to the job. (Heck, I'd rather clean up after a frat party then the Democrat Party! LoL). Obama is leaving the economy in tatters and it is his fault for the disfunction of congress! Also, gays are smoking marijuana and getting married to each other! The Keystone Pipeline, which would bring tar sands from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico, could be the next wonder of the world, but Obama is insisting on vetoing it. He says that it is putting the environment at risk, would not create as many jobs as we say, and would mostly benefit China and Canada. Well, I say this: WHAT DOES HE KNOW?

Huckabee has been on TV, the pulse of the nation, Fox News to be exact. Mike Huckabee knows what is good for the United States of America. Jump on my bandwagon and join me to welcome the next President of the USA. It's Huckabee.

Hell Freezes Over -- I Agree with Obama!

Well, I hope I don't lose my conservative credentials on this one, but I for once agree with the little guy with big ears in the White House.  Neither of us think that big government should be holding data about what web pages you or I visit and how long we are there.  Government shouldn't know who I call on the phone either.  Although we could trust the NSA when President Bush was in office, we definitely can't trust them with a Democrat party loyalist sneaking around the White House.

We agree that a third party should keep the data--a private business entity.  We can trust any of the Wall Street Banks or mega media conglomerates. They won't let the American people down because we are their bread and butter.   I have a prime suggestion: Target Stores.  You may think I am joking, but I assure you, they will never blunder again.  Their CEO went on television and promised.  The business of America is business!

Fox News is Right: Santa Claus is White

I have nothing against people who aren't white.  Heck.  I would be friends with you even if you were purple, as long as you are a good, Christian, stand up kind of guy. I even dated a girl once whose parents turned out to be black when I saw a picture of them!  I joke around with the Mexicans at my work and I even pick up fares who are not white while I am  driving around on a shift in my taxi--if it seems safe.

So keep that in mind when I tell you that the people at Fox News are not racist.  As a matter of fact, I think it is kind of racist to put a target on these fair and balanced newspeople and accuse them of racism just because one of them points out that Santa is white.  Santa is white in all the pictures, just as Jesus, whose birthday Santa is celebrating, is white in all the pictures. I know you will say that cameras didn't exist back in the old days, but most of the truly classic pictures of Jesus are based on the Bible.  That's a high enough authority for me!

God Bless Fox News!  

Obama is Spying on the French to get Pointers

It seems that Obama is trying to get even more socialist and liberal by copying the French.  It wasn't bad enough that when he was in Canada he was caught  with a lemon pie with the label written in French, now he is actually SPYING on the French so he can get ideas about how to be more liberal and cowardly!

I am sorry, but I can't think of a more boring passtime than sitting in the White House and listening to a bunch of French diplomats arguing about the kind of sauce that is going to be on their lunch--paid for by taxpayers in their socialist system.

I hope everyone connects the dots and notices that France's socialist healthcare system is not what the people want in the USA.  We would rather pay lower taxes and then pay for our doctors after we get sick, that way we won't pay for anyone but ourselves!

We Don't Like it Sam I Am!!!

If Obama doesn't do what we Republicans say, then he can take full blame for shutting down the government.

I just want to point out to any of my Democrat party readers--and I know I have plenty--that this shutdown is not the fault of the GOP.  This Obamacare fiasco is, as Texas senator Ted Cruz (a light skinned latino) points out, this whole healthcare fracas is like "Green Eggs and Ham." 

Well the people don't want to have healthcare!  It is just too much of a boondoggle.  It is like solar.  Who needs it?  Well the people don't want to try the green eggs and ham, so we shouldn't serve it to them.  Politicians like Senator Ted Cruz and House Speaker John Boener (pronunced BAINER, Democrats!) see no reason in serving this Green Eggs and Ham to the American people.  The people won't like it!  They don't need it!

So let's just not waste time in letting the American people try it.

Then, when it is defunded, cancelled, redacted, defunct, code blue dead on arrival, the government can resume normal functions--under the watchful eye of the Republican Tea Party!

Yes!

Bye Bye Crystal Cathedral

Well, those shylocks in the Catholic church have gotten their grubby claws on my beloved Crystal Cathedral.  The Schuller family tried to hold on to it with their usual and natural dignity, but when faced with the possibility of bankruptcy and ruin, they finally decided to put her down.
The Crystal Cathedral was built as a Christian church!  To worship Jesus in a way that shows the world the affluence and belief of true Christian worshippers.  Now the non-Christians, the Catholics, have already moved in with their nuns and remodeling plans.  I suppose they are going to paint the cieling as well.  That's just what those people do.

Gay Marriage is Illegal--Get Over it!!!

I never turn down a fare, unless the potential customer looks dangerous.  So I admit that I provide plenty of obvious homosexuals trips in my taxi.  I will admit that they tend to tip well and that's fine, just as long as they don't try to kiss me or ask me for my phone number.

You see, I am 100% man.  I am a straight man.

Just the other day I got a call for a fare outside a fancy and expensive hotel (I won't mention the name) and this guy with perfect hair, Captain Kirk sideburns and wearing a "I support gay marriage" button on his lapel gets in the car.

I had to point out the obvious to this oblivious queen!  "Hey," I said, "Do this equation:  Bridezilla minus groom plus homo equals what?"

He responded, "What?"

I told him, "Two bridezillas!"  But he didn't seem to get my point.  I asked him if he peed sitting down and he got hysterical and asked me to stop the cab.  I did.  This flambouyant guy was gone in a flash.  Not a big tip this time.  He seemed to have something against me from the moment I told him I was streight.

Happy President's Day

I fondly remember our greatest presidents today on President’s day:  Ronald Reagan and George Bush.  Together they have helped make this country what it is today.  President Reagan got the crazy people off the public dole when he closed down countless psycho-hospitals.  Those people can fend for themselves just fine on the streets.  As the great communicator said in an interview with ABC News, ''They make it their own choice for staying out there."

President Bush got the economy on a trajectory where it is finally getting better.  Even Mista' Obama gave him credit when he said that he inherited the economy from President Bush.

Porcupine taxi salutes two great Republican presidents!!!

Beyonce Fakes Star Spangled Banner=TREASON

I don't know about you, but I think that Beyonce should be heavily fined and maybe serve some time in Levenworth for faking the Star Spangled Banner at that fiasco Obama called an inaguration.  It sounded to me like she was mouthing the words to the sound track of an old Kate Smith video from Youtube.  It is a disgrace; and I think everyone noticed her husband, Snoop Dog, was sitting there in the bleachers with Clinton smoking marijuana.  Oh, well, at least they weren't inhaling!!!  Hahaha!!!!!
But seriously, if that good for nothing attorney general doesn't put her up on charges for treason, then I think congress should have a couple of months investigating him and firing him after all his dirty laundry is out there.

We need to Double What the NRA Said

While it is true that the only one who can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, I must point out that the NRA is not completely right. 

Instead of having an armed guard in every school, we need a squad of an undisclosed number planted in every school.  If some psycho nut knows that each school only has one armed guard, well, that guard is toast.  He is the first one to get blasted every time.  Any psycho organized enough to remember his bullet proof vest and high density ammo cartridges will know that.

 My suggestion is to pass a law that implants an entire squad of heavily armed sharpshooters in every school in the USA.  Each squad will consist of snipers, sharp shooters, and quick draw experts who will pass regular achievement tests. 

Some of these guards will be plainclothes or undercover and others will be stationed at strategic locations in body armor.  We can even have one under ground in a maze of mandated access tunnels so that he can pop up anywhere and take out the shooter.  This plan is the only way we can really solve our problems with violence in schools.  It is the least we can do for the children.  Children are our future and we must protect them.

It's a Wonderful Life? I Don't Think So!

Well, Jimmy Stewart's socialist commie love fest was just presented on network television and I have to ask you something:  What the heck happened to the brains of these network executives and why do they present a socialist agenda on corporate owned television?!

From the get-go, young George Bailey should have been named Vladimir Bailey what with his crying for socialized medicine when he hurt his ear for sledding with a shovel.  He really should have worked and saved up money so he could pay his own doctor bills or better yet, have bought a sled. If he weren't collecting welfare, maybe he would have used that shovel to earn some bucks!

And what's with all this WW2 stuff about the community getting together to collect scrap metal for the soldiers.  The government could do the job much cheaper if we hire private contractors instead.  Plus, regular citizens wouldn't have to  become a bunch of junkmen!

But the worst part was the portrayal of Henry F. Potter, the only businessman in town, as far as I could tell, who created jobs.  He was demonized just for wanting to do what everyone wants to do--make money.  It was totally unfair.

And any student of Ayn Rand will aptly point out to you that the truely selfish one was George Bailey.  The only reason he helped people was because it gave him a good tingly feeling inside to promote socialism and ruin society.  Some of the people he helped looked like drunks.

When the whole town shows up in Bailey's house at the end of the picture, a horrible orgy of "share the wealth" ensues and the movie ends not making a lick of sense:  The criminal, who should go to jail, is suddenly off the hook.  He lost the money!  He should pay for his irresponsibility.  What kind of lesson is this for our children?

Worse yet is the whole thing about the guardian angel, Clarence.  The fact that he is sent down there to help a "discouraged" George Bailey shows us how these film makers need to get into a Christian church because they definitely do not understand God.  Why would God send an angel to help a freeloader who can barely support his kids and not to Mr. Potter, who is in a wheelchair and needs more help after a lifetime of creating jobs and helping the community remain free? 

It should definitely not be a hit.

We'll Have to Hold off a Few Years for First Mormon President

I was willing to throw the weight of my support and renown behind Mitt Romney even though he is a Mormon and not a Christian because he stood for ideas and ideals that I approve of.  He was willing to let big business brush away the restrictions of regulations and therefore have better access to the economy and help the middle class.

He was willing to keep marriage monogamous, in spite of his beliefs, and define it as between a male and a female.  He was willing to prevent babies from being killed by their mothers in the womb shouting of "legitimate rape" when it was probably illegitimate rape if they got pregnant.

He was going to get the government out of our hair, this time for good!

But he lost the election.  Why did he lose?  Because he never signed "Porcupinetaxi's pledge to honor God."
I gave him several opportunities, and even had my friend Mike Huckabee call his cell phone, but he was napping on the bus and never returned his call.  If Mitt had signed my pledge, he would have garnered the votes to win.

I am sure of it.

The Great Debater

Obama showed that he is just a punching bag.  Romney gave him the old one-two and then the three, four and five.  I don't like the fact that Mitt said that each state should have it's own program of government medical care, like Massachusetts.  But boy, did you see the confusion on Obama's face when he said it?  Blindsided!

And Romney totally stole Obama's fire when he championed the middle class first.  Ha ha!  Took the words right out of his mouth.  Obama looked like a welfare mother trying to buy cigarettes with food stamps.

And Jim Lehrer, the moderator, is like "Where's my walker?  I wanna get outta here," when Romney took control of the debate by saying he would off Big Bird for borrowing money from China and increasing the deficit.  Pure gold.  PBS is too liberal anyway.    Call China for your pledge drive.

I have faith that Romney will be tea party one hundred percent.  The moderate thing is only for the debate; don't worry folks.

Romney's Choice: Inspired

Romney has chosen an economic genius to lead the country in case he is elected and dies.  He is no Sarah Palin, but I still like him.  What an inspired choice.

Chik-Fil-a is the best, In Spite of Feather!!!

I feel queezy just thinking about the seven chicken sandwiches I just ate to support my local Chik-fil-a restaurant.  Let me tell you, everyone from my church went and they had those sandwiches flying off the grill so fast that I think they forgot to pluck a couple of them!

Anyway, it was delicious to know that I was supporting Jesus's idea of what a traditional marriage should be:  A Man And A Woman eating chicken!  I went alone, but met a terrific chick there and maybe I will eventually get her number and marry her because she is a woman.  Her name is Unise, but I like her in spite of her name.

I want to thank Jesus for helping me find a girl.  Jesus looks out for me. 

Needed: Special Investigator to See if Supremes are Being Blackmailed!

It is obvious to anyone who has a brain that there is something fishy going on in Washington!  There is absolutely no way the Supreme Court would uphold Obamacare unless there was some kind of BLACKMAIL going on.  When I say blackmail, I am not being racist about Mister Obama (who is a black male).  I don't care if he is black or purple or red.

My point is that I don't want to be forced to pay for insurance that might use my money to help someone else.  As an American, I have the right not to help anyone I choose.

I sincerely am concerned that some family member of one of those justices is being held captive in a basement somewhere in the ghetto of Washington DC.  Perhaps the police unions should be concerned about that, instead of the size of their paychecks only.

The supreme court would not support Obamacare in anything remotely resembling a normal situation.  Only Scalia would be brave enough to stand up to the kidnappers, and he voted the right way, so we know it isn't him who is being blackmaled, oops, blackmailed.

Gun Control Freaks are Causing People to Die

If everyone were allowed to carry a weapon, then thieves would just stay home where it is safe for them.  No punk in a hoodie is going to mess with a grandma packing heat.  We need more laws like the one in Florida.  Florida's law is called "Stand your own Ground"  and I agree that I should be able to defend my territory, which follows me wherever I go.  If I feel threatened or in danger, I will defend myself or my family or girlfriend if I had one.

I think Newt is the best candidate for people who carry guns, second Santorum.  I don't trust Romney because he is from Massachusettes--too close to Ted Kennedy.

Romney Limbaugh is the Ticket

We all know that Mitt Romney is too liberal.  He was the governor of a state where the only thing more popular then Kennedys is chowder.  We also know that he is going to be nominated.  He will run against Obama unless Huckabee declares a surprise entry into the race.

To balance out the race, we need to balance the ticket.  A Romney Limbaugh ticket may be just the thing.  Limbaugh is not afraid to call a university student a slut or prostitute.  Limbaugh has a show owned by a corporation which will pay big bucks to promote him.  Not there is a SuperPAC!

That's what I call freedom of speech!
That's what I call a winning ticket!

Stick to Your Guns Boehner!

Why should the House of Representatives make Obama look good?  If they go along with whatever he wants, then voters will give Obama the credit and he will get re-elected, which is something nobody wants.  That would guarantee another four years of GRIDLOCK.  Representative Boehner is right to throw up obstacles every chance he gets.  It is the only way to guarantee that this country will eventually run smoothly.

President Gingrich

Because Newt Gingrich was one of the first candidates to sign the Porcupine Taxi's Pledge to Respect God, he has catapulted himself into the position of front runner for the Republican nomination.

Since the Republican nominee usually wins, Newt will definitely be the next president.

Unless Huckabee enters the race.

(I can always dream, can't I?)