Thursday, March 23, 2017

No Health Care Means The Saved Are Closer to Heaven

Some left-wing pundits have raised the question of What would Jesus do? in reference to the cancellation of Obamacare.

The answer is a resounding yes. Yes! Jesus would approve. C A N C E L  IT! He wants nothing more than to be surrounded by people who love and worship him. In other words, if a few people die, so be it! If they are saved, they will go directly to Heaven. Heck, that sounds better than staying  here and paying high taxes.

And here's the thing. With the threat of death and damnation, people will flock to their local Christian church to be saved. Jesus smiles broadly whenever an individual is brought to Christ.

Jesus suffered unendurable torture on the cross for us. We owe it to him not to whine if we lose our healthcare.

Trumpcare will be total care, care for the soul!

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Al Frankin isn't Funny Anymore

So called senator Al Frankin should resign for tricking our attorney general into misspeaking when asked if he had had any meetings with the Russians while he was working for the Trump campaign.

Anyone knows that a southerner like Jeff Sessions would be starstruck for being nominated by a big star like Donald Trump. I mean, heck, Trump is probably the smartest guy in the world and well, I am not saying that Sessions is another Gomer Pyle, but it would be a shock for a guy like him. I live in Los Angeles and even gave a ride in my taxi to Jimmy Walker one time. Scared the hell out of me while getting into my cab with his other black friends, until I recognized who he was. Funny guy. Not a good tipper.

Anyway, Frankin, the failed New York comic, is just as bad a senator. I insist that he resign! From what I hear, Franken was seen by a security camera standing in line at a Dunkin Doughnuts and the Russian Ambassador was in the same line. Investigate and prosecute Al Frankin!

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Dirty Liberal Tricks Punished!

It was a dirty trick for whoever it was that handed out Russian flags for people to wave when President Trump was giving his brilliant speech at CPAC. You can't expect an audience that spends almost 100% of its reading time with The Bible (God's word) to know every single flag of every single country on the globe. They were waving those flags because they didn't know any better. Heck, they are not Sheldon from The Bean Bag Theory!
Just for reporting a trick like that, the press is going to suffer! President Trump will be the first president in years to boycott the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Sorry, the greatest showman on Earth will not let you grant him an audience. In other words, to the press: YOU'RE FIRED!

Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Press Corps Got Served a Real Trump Steak!

The president magnificiently managed that press conference. The press looked like a bunch of middle schoolers in the cafeteria clamouring for their pizza and sweet rolls who instead got a serving of legitimate grievances. Nobody can scold like Donald Trump.

Did you see that Jewish guy in the beanie trying to make the president admit that he wasn't anti Semitic? What the bagels?! President Trump shut him down. Why should the president need to admit that he is not anti-Semitic when he is great buddies with none other than Bibi Rosenberg, or whatever his name is, THE DAMN PRESIDENT OF ISRAEL--THE MOST JEWISH COUNTRY ON EARTH! President Trump even promised to move the US Embassy out of Tel-Aviv (a place where Jesus never set foot) and into Jerusalem (Jesus's stomping grounds). What better way to stick it to the non-Christians than to set up the embassy in Jesus's home town!

Another thing that shows Trump is a friend of the Jews is that he encourages the building of settlements on Palestine land. Palestinians don't deserve that land because they litter. Israel has state-of the art US street sweepers. They will keep it cleaned up and looking nicer than a deli on the Sabbath. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Obviously Vladimir Putin is not Such a Bad Guy

If the Trump campaign was making deals with Vladimir Putin, then I think we need to take a step back and re-evaluate our relationship with the Russians. Trump is a great judge of character, and therefore, Putin must be OK.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Kelly Ann is Getting the Short End of the Stick

People need to recognize that Kelly Ann Conway never lies. They really must accept her story because she always tells the truth. I think it is obvious that if someone always tells the truth, you can believe them. Kelly Ann could say the sky is blue and CNN would report, no it's not, it's green. Sad.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Unsinkable

I felt a little overwhelmed and shy while participating at the White House Focus Group. Thank God that I got over it!

At one point I was just brainstorming  to myself while me and the other participants were watching Fox News. I said to the guy next to me that I could hardly wait until all my competition on the streets of LA driving my taxi is deported. You see half those guys are from Pakistan or Iraq or who knows where. They have more experience driving a flying carpet than a car. Well, the guy next to me busted into a fit of laughter. It turned out to be Steve Bannon and he said he would float my idea with the President. I said to him, "You think it's a good enough idea to float?" and he replied, "Unsinkable."

Next thing you know, we have a travel ban against the Muslims. If you need a ride in the Southland, just call me. And I won't pull over and point the car towards Mecca every four hours. LOL!