Fox News is Right: Santa Claus is White

I have nothing against people who aren't white.  Heck.  I would be friends with you even if you were purple, as long as you are a good, Christian, stand up kind of guy. I even dated a girl once whose parents turned out to be black when I saw a picture of them!  I joke around with the Mexicans at my work and I even pick up fares who are not white while I am  driving around on a shift in my taxi--if it seems safe.

So keep that in mind when I tell you that the people at Fox News are not racist.  As a matter of fact, I think it is kind of racist to put a target on these fair and balanced newspeople and accuse them of racism just because one of them points out that Santa is white.  Santa is white in all the pictures, just as Jesus, whose birthday Santa is celebrating, is white in all the pictures. I know you will say that cameras didn't exist back in the old days, but most of the truly classic pictures of Jesus are based on the Bible.  That's a high enough authority for me!

God Bless Fox News!  

Obama is Spying on the French to get Pointers

It seems that Obama is trying to get even more socialist and liberal by copying the French.  It wasn't bad enough that when he was in Canada he was caught  with a lemon pie with the label written in French, now he is actually SPYING on the French so he can get ideas about how to be more liberal and cowardly!

I am sorry, but I can't think of a more boring passtime than sitting in the White House and listening to a bunch of French diplomats arguing about the kind of sauce that is going to be on their lunch--paid for by taxpayers in their socialist system.

I hope everyone connects the dots and notices that France's socialist healthcare system is not what the people want in the USA.  We would rather pay lower taxes and then pay for our doctors after we get sick, that way we won't pay for anyone but ourselves!

We Don't Like it Sam I Am!!!

If Obama doesn't do what we Republicans say, then he can take full blame for shutting down the government.

I just want to point out to any of my Democrat party readers--and I know I have plenty--that this shutdown is not the fault of the GOP.  This Obamacare fiasco is, as Texas senator Ted Cruz (a light skinned latino) points out, this whole healthcare fracas is like "Green Eggs and Ham." 

Well the people don't want to have healthcare!  It is just too much of a boondoggle.  It is like solar.  Who needs it?  Well the people don't want to try the green eggs and ham, so we shouldn't serve it to them.  Politicians like Senator Ted Cruz and House Speaker John Boener (pronunced BAINER, Democrats!) see no reason in serving this Green Eggs and Ham to the American people.  The people won't like it!  They don't need it!

So let's just not waste time in letting the American people try it.

Then, when it is defunded, cancelled, redacted, defunct, code blue dead on arrival, the government can resume normal functions--under the watchful eye of the Republican Tea Party!

Yes!

Bye Bye Crystal Cathedral

Well, those shylocks in the Catholic church have gotten their grubby claws on my beloved Crystal Cathedral.  The Schuller family tried to hold on to it with their usual and natural dignity, but when faced with the possibility of bankruptcy and ruin, they finally decided to put her down.
The Crystal Cathedral was built as a Christian church!  To worship Jesus in a way that shows the world the affluence and belief of true Christian worshippers.  Now the non-Christians, the Catholics, have already moved in with their nuns and remodeling plans.  I suppose they are going to paint the cieling as well.  That's just what those people do.

Gay Marriage is Illegal--Get Over it!!!

I never turn down a fare, unless the potential customer looks dangerous.  So I admit that I provide plenty of obvious homosexuals trips in my taxi.  I will admit that they tend to tip well and that's fine, just as long as they don't try to kiss me or ask me for my phone number.

You see, I am 100% man.  I am a straight man.

Just the other day I got a call for a fare outside a fancy and expensive hotel (I won't mention the name) and this guy with perfect hair, Captain Kirk sideburns and wearing a "I support gay marriage" button on his lapel gets in the car.

I had to point out the obvious to this oblivious queen!  "Hey," I said, "Do this equation:  Bridezilla minus groom plus homo equals what?"

He responded, "What?"

I told him, "Two bridezillas!"  But he didn't seem to get my point.  I asked him if he peed sitting down and he got hysterical and asked me to stop the cab.  I did.  This flambouyant guy was gone in a flash.  Not a big tip this time.  He seemed to have something against me from the moment I told him I was streight.

Happy President's Day

I fondly remember our greatest presidents today on President’s day:  Ronald Reagan and George Bush.  Together they have helped make this country what it is today.  President Reagan got the crazy people off the public dole when he closed down countless psycho-hospitals.  Those people can fend for themselves just fine on the streets.  As the great communicator said in an interview with ABC News, ''They make it their own choice for staying out there."

President Bush got the economy on a trajectory where it is finally getting better.  Even Mista' Obama gave him credit when he said that he inherited the economy from President Bush.

Porcupine taxi salutes two great Republican presidents!!!

Beyonce Fakes Star Spangled Banner=TREASON

I don't know about you, but I think that Beyonce should be heavily fined and maybe serve some time in Levenworth for faking the Star Spangled Banner at that fiasco Obama called an inaguration.  It sounded to me like she was mouthing the words to the sound track of an old Kate Smith video from Youtube.  It is a disgrace; and I think everyone noticed her husband, Snoop Dog, was sitting there in the bleachers with Clinton smoking marijuana.  Oh, well, at least they weren't inhaling!!!  Hahaha!!!!!
But seriously, if that good for nothing attorney general doesn't put her up on charges for treason, then I think congress should have a couple of months investigating him and firing him after all his dirty laundry is out there.