Check the Oil on that Ford

We must run President Ford's cadaver through rigorous testing for posioning. It just seems like too much of a coincidence that he dies of poisoning right after Vladimir Putin gave everyone the idea of culling enemies with secret toxins. It is just too much of a coincidence also that Ford would choose to die right after the democrats win the congress with their crooked voting machines. I say hook a geiger counter up to that corpse. He was a great American.

Bush Has A Secret Plan to Win in Iraq

Anyone who views "Barney’s Holiday Extravaganza" on the Whitehouse.gov website will see that there is a hidden message about President Bush's secret plan:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/holiday/2006/barneycam.html#

The little dog Barney is responsible for the holiday show, but he doesn't have a plot. He goes all over the White House and nobody will help him. Finally, he does some hilarious American idol type auditions and gets Carl Rove for the show. He gets encouragement from Emmit Smith, which shows that Bush is good for Black people. The show is so good that even Dolly Parton goes to the show. This shows that Bush is good for women (you can't deny that Dolly is a woman! I met her at Dollywood once).

Finally, Barney’s show is a big hit. Everyone applauds.

I feel that this is an allegory for President Bush's secret plan to win in Iraq. Just like Barney, he is being accused of not being prepared. Ultimately, by staying the course, the show goes off without a hitch. Iraq will go off without a hitch as well, when we bring in a new, democratically elected, Saddam.

Saddam was represented in the show by the cat. Notice how the cat came out from behind the curtain, which represents prison. The cat (Saddam) walked right into the camera, as if it were walking right into our lives. After the cat came out, everything went smoothly for Barney. The problem with Saddam was that he was a ruthless dictator. He was not democratically elected. If he is democratically elected (we can provide the voting machines) he will no longer be a dictator. I am sure that with the right kind of pressure, the Iraqi government can grant him a pardon.

The Christmas show ends with Santa, a snowman, and another character waving to the audience and saluting Barney. They represent the three ethnicities of Iraq, united by Bush (Barney) in a new, Christian Iraq, with a "new" Christian President, Saddam Hussein-- who will have found Jesus in the US prison system. Saddam and the Bush family were friends before. They can be friends again. After all, he is the only person who can control Iraq. We need him.

Forgiveness, human reconciliation, and peace on Earth. It is a beautiful story and a beautiful plan.
Happy holidays. ---Porcupinetaxi

Bush Should Ignore Iraq Study Group

The job of a leader is to lead, not follow. President Bush should ignore the findings and suggestions of the Iraq study group unless he can use them to illustrate how we should keep going the way we are until victory. What part of "Stay the course" do they not understand? We must keep fighting until the job's done!

We would have won in Vietnam, heck we would have Hanaoi full of McDonalds instead of just a couple, if Richard Nixon hadn't turned so liberal. And remember that James Baker once worked for Ronald Reagan, who was too liberal and had alzheimers.

I am proud of President George Bush for standing up against the tide of popular opinion in this country. There is a true leader in the oval office!