Take That, Democrats!

When George Bush drove Clinton out of office, all those Democrat working stiffs were so upset because they were out of work that they stole all the "W's" off the White House keyboards. Totally babyish!

We Republicans know how to get our revenge. The President (yes, Bush is still the president, although Obama doesn't seem to think so) has signed an order to permit people to bring their concealed weapons into National Parks. Ha ha. Deal with that one, first amendment haters!

I just might go bear hunting this weekend! (Hands off that pick-a-nick basket, buddy!!!) Ha ha. Lol!!!

Special Embassador to the World Post Remains Open

Thanks to (still) President George Bush, the people in Iraq have so much confidence in their freedom of speech that some of them may get carried away and throw their size ten shoes in the wrong direction. One shoe-flinging reporter is now incarcerated in Iraq for "threatening a president" as well he should be. The Iraqis are like baby birds teetering on the edge of a nest, getting ready to fly. Just as I can not yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater, they can not throw shoes in a celebration of free speech. You can hurt someone. That reporter must be prosecuted as an example to the other people, who are learning about freedom.

Just remember, if this had happened under Saddam Hussein, that guy would have been killed for what he did.
Through the whole incident, our President made a light-hearted quip, "I saw his sole" he said. He just came up with that quip off the cuff the next day in an interview. We need that kind of guy around. I nominate him for the post of Special Embassador to the World. Obama, prove that you are really reaching out to the red and blue states and give Bush the job.

Earth to Obama: You Are Not Sworn in Yet

It seems as if his bossy wife has forgotten to tell him that he is still not president. Obama is acting as if he's in charge. Everyone, write him e-mails and let him know that he's just gotta stop hogging those TV cameras. Heck, he is on TV more than Paris Hilton. And where do you think is the best place to send those e-mails? Where will he get them for sure? E-mail theWhite House, where Obama is trying color swatches for the new curtains!!!

Support the Conservative Cause any Way you Can!!!

Donate money to Christian churches, watch Fox News, keep your radio tuned to Rush and Sean and most of all KEEP TUNING IN TO THIS BLOG. I promise I will keep this liberal coup in check. I know, that this is unheard of, having one party with so much power in America. Well, I think that we are going to have to let out a PRIMAL Roar!!! to show that the Republican Party is still the best party in the world.

God Bless America!!!

Four Years of Socialism, Terrorist Buddies, Moslem Names, Spread the Wealth!!!

This wouldn't have happened if he had picked Huckabee.

:-(

Everybody With a Brain--Vote!!!

Let's get every reader of this blog out there to vote. If you all show up at the polls, I think that Peter Jennings will have to serve himself up a huge helping of crow. That is what he deserves for reporting all of those pubilc opinion polls which are skewed against the Republican ticket.

If you want a genuine hero who has plenty of training in tactics and survival and who was born in America, and chooses a running mate who can break the glass ceiling that Hillary Clinton put so many cracks in, then McCain is your man.

If you want a socialist liberal, whose aunt is an illegal alien, whose children dressed at Taliban terrorists for Halloween, who hangs around with William Ayers--another terrorist, who goes to elitist and intellectual vogue parties with the likes of Paris Hilton, who has no executive experience, and was shown on the cover of New Yorker Magazine in the actual uniform of an Al Quaida Terrorist, who rides on a fuel guzzling plane while hipocritically touting alternative fuels, whose wife says that she is ashamed to be from the USA, except for one occasion, and whose middle name is Hussein, then vote for Obama.

Just remember that Democrats vote on Wednesday! Lol!!!

I Salute Joe The Plumber

Joe, if it wasn't for you, the common man wouldn't dream. Yes, you know what I am talking about. I am talking about that crazy dream of yours to get a two hundred and fifty thousand income someday. And you are well on your way. You have it all laid out, starting with shooting down Obama's half-baked tax plan that will not do you any good at all once you have achieved your dream.

You remind me of myself. I drive a taxi, but someday I am going to be rich, and when I am, I want a president who will look out for my interests, not some guy who will stick his hand into my pocket, take my wallet, and "spread the wealth around." Together we will bring down Obama, who may have a plan that would benefit us slightly now, but would hinder us from achieving our dreams.

Joe, I look forward to the day when I turn on my radio and Rush Limbaugh announces that you have gotten your plumbers license, bought your bosses business, and made your first million!

In your face OBama!!!

McCain Has the Perfect Temperment

McCain has the right temperament to get the job done. Also, as he did with his vice presidential choice, he will surround himself with qualified people who know their stuff. I have a suggestion for secretary of state. It is not a black and not a woman.
It's Huckabee.




McCain-Palin

Do We Really Know Who Obama Is?

Sitting here watching the campaign ads on my new flat-screen TV, I came up with this realization all on my own. Do we really know who Barak Obama is?

I hear that he lived in a foreign country. Why would anyone want to live in a foreign country unless they hated America? Also, I hear he is friends with a buddy who wants to secede from the USA.

He was seen eating pizza with a fork and knife. He doesn't even know how to eat American food. His wife passes up the superior quality US made shoes and buys shoes from Europe. Europe, that is where France is.

Plus, he was born in Hawaii. The Republican Party got hold of copies of his passport and birth certificate to prove that he was born in Hawaii and posted it on truefactsverified.com. Someone born in another country, like Hawaii, should not be eligible to be president of the USA, I don't care if he is black or white, there should be a law.

So maybe you should ask yourself: Isn't it high time to get familiar with this Obama character? To find out more about him is easy, just watch more of Sarah Palin's speeches. She is a streight-shooter who is easy on the eyes as well.

Porcupinetaxi, signing off.

McCain-Palin 08

Sarah Palin Wins Debate

I think Sarah Palin has excellent legs for a woman her age. I mean, she can take me hunting caribou any time. Yes, I was enthralled by the debate she mastered against that shmoe from the Democrat party. She kicked his ass. I was really impressed. Although the Democrat had really taken an unfair advantage by preparing a lot of pat answers to her well thought-out praise for John McCain, she did exceptionally well for a woman. Who would have thought that someone so pretty could do so well in a debate with a man. She kicked ass!!! and she has good legs too!!!

I Am Convinced

Ok. On Thursday I got a knock on my door at three AM and got out of my bed hopping mad, ready for a fight. Instead of a fight, I had milk and cookies with two of my most admired people in the world. You guessed it. Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris were at my door here in the suburb of Garden Grove, California. I tell you it knocked my socks off!!!

Chuck did most of the talking. He said that both of them were following my blog and they knew that it influenced a lot of people. The only thing Mike said was that he was honored that I was so faithful to him and believed in him.

Chuck let me know in no uncertain terms that Huckabee meant what he said when he spoke about supporting the Republican Candidates.

That's enough for me.

To prove that it was not a dream, I have posted a photo above of Chuck Norris and Mike Huckabee in my kitchen.

I hearby endorse John McCain for the presidency!!!

Don't Try To Fool Me With Fake E-Mails!!!

I have received a private e-mail which was trying to get me to knock off my campaign to get Mike Huckabee to run for a third party for the White House. Well, you didn't fool me. That E-mail was as fake as a queer two dollar bill.

If Mike Huckabee wasn't speaking against his will at the convention in Minnesota, then let him contact me in person.

There is only one person who can convince me to change my vote to McCain.

It's Huckabee.

I am Not Giving Up Until Told By Huckabee Himself

I couldn't get over why I got this queezy feeling when Mike Huckabee was endorsing John McCain and Sara Palin at the Republican Convention in Denver, then it hit me. I was queezy because he was drugged up. How else can you explain a great man like Mike Huckabee relinquishing a vice presidency that should have been his...to a woman small town mayor who forgot to tell her daughter not to have sex!!!

I am fighting mad. I won't quit my campaign to draft Mike Huckabee to run as a third party candidate until the man contacts me himself and I can drug test him.

Even McCain's wife would be a better VP than the one he chose. Who cares if she is hot?!

I am fighting mad.

It's Huckabee.

News Alert, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

Everyone tune in to the Republican National Convention tonight. Governor Mike Huckabee is scheduled to do a major speech.

Open Letter to Mike Huckabee, Urgent!!!

Dear Mike,

I hope you are having a nice time in Arkansas. Enough with the formalities--you have to get up and back into the ring. Your vacation is over!!! You have been drafted by the blogosphere, specifically, The Porcupine Taxi!!!

Our "friend" John McCain has passed you over for vice president. I am so sorry. In an effort to make the press stop talking about Obama's boring speech last night, he decided to nail the first woman who walked into the bar and who came through the door? Hell, I don't remember her name even, but she is not you!!!

With McCain's weak health and high cholesterol, WE NEEDED YOU TO BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENCY. Now we realize we need you to be a heartbeat in the presidency.

Mike Huckabee, I nominate you for the first third party run that will win. How will we do it? With the other nominees from the other parties, who I will not mention, you are a shoe in. It will be a piece of cake. Our new slogan is...

Run Mike, Run!!!

Obama Disses Hillary

Well, it looks as if people from the democrat party are jumping ship, they are so mad that Obama didn't choose Hillary as his running mate. Man, after all those votes she got, he didn't even put her on the short list!!! It is as if Obama doesn't care at all about women.

Almost all Hillary supporters have decided to vote for McCain. That is what the latest survey reports. They say that Obama is just too shifty and inexperienced, so they will go with the original maverick...

John McCain

Bush is a Good Judge of Character

If Bush says that he looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes and "was able to sense his soul," then Putin is obviously a stand-up kind of guy who will probably help the Georgians as much as we helped the Iraqis. I just wish the press would stop looking at this peacekeeping action as a bad thing.

By the way, Condie knows exactly what she is doing over there. Just stay tuned.

McCain Sees Exactly who Is To Blame

This just out of the LA Times:

LIMA, OHIO -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain said today that the nation's energy crisis is a direct result of congressional failure and called on Congress, now in a five-week summer recess, to get back to work.

McCain is right. This do-nothing congress has gotten us up this creek and we pay so many taxes that we can't even afford to buy a paddle!

McCain knows because he is has been a member of congress, the senate, for years. He is part of our government and knows how it works. Nothing goes on there without him knowing through his experience and connections.

Let me add that Barack Obama is a part of this congress, so he is part of the problem. He is a Senator from Chicago and he should stop all this campaigning and get back to work.

Hey, I am tired of putting my taxi in neutral and coasting down hills in order to save gas. We need to drill for coal now!

Obama's Trip Proves He Can't Be Leader

Barack Obama (My neighbor's three year old refers to him as broken cereal bowl, how cute.) has shown one thing by traveling to Europe and doing all those speeches: First of all, who would want to be cheered by a bunch of Germans? Isn't that exactly what Hitler did? And number two, nobody knew what the heck he was talking about. Those Germans speak German, they don't speak English. They were so confused that they probably thought he was Tiger Woods, so they cheered and applauded every time he paused. Obama should take a page from JFK's playbook: learn one line of German and then just keep repeating it!

By the way, it looks like McCain is on the verge of naming Huckabee for VP. Told you so!

Obama Supports Faith-Based Initiatives--Watch out for that one

Obama has said that he supports "some faith based initiatives which have been successful" in an effort to woe conservative voters. Sorry, this is one conservative who won't take the bait. Read the next paragraph and I will tell you exactly why.

When Obama says he is in favor of "Faith" based initiatives, most people think he is talking about the old ladies at the church making a meal for the homeless on Thanksgiving, or a group of clean cut Christians putting on a play about how a drug addict changed his life when he was saved by Christ. What Obama means is completely different. When Obama says "faith" based initiatives he means Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Moslem, Pagan, and even Devil worshippers!!! Then the left over pennies might be tossed in the collection plate of your or my Christian church. Sorry, this won't fly with me. Let the terrorists pay for their own flight schools!!! LOL.

Don't Believe Obama's Lapel Pin

Barak Osama, I mean Obama, has taken to wearing a little American flag lapel pin. It is his way of camouflaging the fact that he hates America, like all the liberals. I don't know if any of the liberal press has the guts to do this, but I challenge them to measure the size of Obama's flag pin. I will wager dollars to doughnuts that McCain's American flag lapel pin is bigger. Something just doesn't sit right with a candidate who flip-flops his way into wearing a lapel pin, when, if reporters searched him, would probably have a copy of the Koran in his pocket.

C'mon. McCain was in the Hanoi Hilton. He deserves to be president.

Is Obama's Wife a Raving Lunatic?

Everyone in Washington is making bets about when Michelle Obama is going to crack. She really seems to hate shaking hands and smiling at all of those inconvenient white people. She grits her teeth like Aunt Jemima at the end of a long photo shoot and says, "It's so nice to meet you." Then she mutters something under her breath. I bet that is the reason she hates McCain so much. He is so white he is transparent.

It seems to me that she is going to crack. Her voodoo curses are going to come back and bite her in the 100% hindsight!!!

LOL.

Our Duty is To Mine for Coal

The USA has more coal than anybody. All we have to do is dig it up. Modern technology has reached a point where we can replace wasted space at the tops of mountains with open-pit coal mines which can serve everybody. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to drive a Hummer SUV. You deserve it as an American. God gave us the bounty of coal, but it is up to us to get it. Let's start digging.

Democrats Are Driving Up Oil Prices

I hope that people have noticed that it is because the Democrat Party has taken over congress that the price of gasoline has skyrocketed. Tax and spend, that is all they do. When are they going to learn to be part of the solution and not part of the problem?

Thank God that President Bush is sending me an economic stimulus check! God bless him.

The Oil Companies Will Get Us Out of this Mess

I truely believe that the big oil companies will get us out of this four dollar a gallon gasoline mess. They are the only ones equipped to do the research so that we can get alternative sources of energy from coal or surplus corn. Did you know that if Mexicans just stopped eating tortillas for one day, the world's supply of fuel would be taken care of for three months? Since the Mexicans are the second most obese country, I believe they could use the diet.

We must let our American oil companies drill for oil in the Alaskan wildlife refuge in order to buy them time to complete their research. I guarentee that Rudolf the red nosed reindeer will not mind a pipeline or two.

Thirdly, if any of our do-nothing senators tries to pass any law which cuts the windfall profits of the oil companies, write a sharply worded letter and explain to him (or her) that they can't solve the problems without money for research, and that's what we all need--to solve the problem.

Believe me, I am a taxi driver and I know about fuel.

Obama? Are you Kidding Me?!

I am sorry, but Osama, I mean, Obama is the best the Democrat Party can come up with? It seems to me that we might as well cancel the election. Obama would have a better chance of winning on the reality show "Pimp My Geek."

What with his giant feet and big ears, he looks like one of those characters from Fat Albert all grown up. He talks like Al Sharpton trying to be white. His wife, who hates America, looks like she's trying to copy Condeleeza Rice's hair- do but with cheaper hair products. She had better not stand still in the wax museum for too long or some janitor may try to dust her. And why doesn't he wear old glory on his lapel? Would it kill him to respect the USA?

I tell you: It won't fly in Garden Grove, where I am from, and it certainly won't fly in the USA.

I was originally a Huckabee man, but now I tell you there is only one thing that John McCain needs to win my support.

That thing is Wacko Bama.

Democratic Debate In PA Shows Slim Pickings

While I was unclogging my toilet I noticed that the Democrat debate from Pennsylvania came on my new big screen plasma TV, so I decided to watch between plunges.

Man, Obama and Hillary really hate each other. At one point Obama's face turned purple because he was so mad when a patriotic newsman asked him why he didn't wear an American flag pen on his lapel. He didn't have an answer. He didn't want to say the truth (that he hates America) so he turned to Hillary and, you guessed it. Either I was plunging too hard or I heard him say it. He pretended to cough but he really said "B**CH.

Hillary didn't score any points either, when she first admitted that she made up the story about snipers shooting at her in Bosnia but then showed a scar on her thigh which she insisted was from one of their bullets.

Democrats suck!!!

McCain is going to win and his vice president will be Huckabee. Long live Huckabee!!!

A Slave is Not a Strong Leader

I am getting so tired of the liberal talking heads quoting half-baked studies that say more Americans than ever feel that the USA is on the wrong track. I suspect that a lot of illegal aliens participated in that particular poll. Maybe some French tourists as well. Anyway, everyone I know agrees that the US is on the right track, but lets just pretend that there is something to that poll. What would that say about our leaders?

I'll tell you what it says. It says that our leaders, Bush and Cheny will not be cowed, will not be intimidated, will be leaders. The job of a leader is to lead. The administration is just showing us that they are true leaders. They are doing what has to be done, no matter how unpopular it is.

I am proud of them.

Sure Way to Stop Global Warming

The theory of global warming states that excess carbon dioxide emissions are making this planet like a greenhouse. Don't greenhouses make plants grow better? Hello?! Don't we like plants to grow well? We need to grow plenty of corn and other foodcrops for our next generation of bio-fuels. Wouldn't it be perfect? Instead of building a giant greenhouse, we make the world into one.

People say the glaciers are melting and the polar bears are running out of turf...Who needs glaciers anyway? I am sure Disney can mock up some glaciers that are even more interesting than the real ones. I already know that they can make some excellent animatronic bears.

Well, I guess you are thinking that my title is a little misleading. I wrote that title as a way of tricking the tree huggers into reading this. They need to face the truth and accept it. You drive cars, too. Don't you, tree huggers?

The Democrats Want 4000 Americans Heros to die in Vain

The Democrats have been jumping around shouting "Cut and run! Cut and run!" as if four-thousand is some kind of magic number which means we should abandon our duties in Iraq. Let me point out something: Four-thousand is just three thousand ninety nine plus one!

That's right. Why were those liberals waiting for the number of war casualties to get so high? I will tell you. They want America to look bad.

President Bush pointed it out very succinctly: Most of the families of the heroes who have died would like their family members not to have died in vain. We must respect their wishes and keep fighting until our objectives are met and we have won the war on terror.

In 2001 we were brutally attacked with our own airplanes, which were hijacked by Arabs. We entered Iraq, an Arabic country, with a proud mindset to find Saddam's hidden weapons of mass destruction. Let me tell you something: We are gonna find those suckers.

Mark my words.

Floridians Still Don't Know How To Vote

The funniest laughfest of the day is when the newscasters start talking about Florida voters. Man, those fools still don't know how to vote. It seems that the Democrats moved their primary up into January when they were too hung over from New Years parties to be able to count the votes.

Those who voted for Hillary thought they were voting for Martha Stewart and those who voted for Obama thought they were voting for Bill Cosby.

It seems that a manatee tried to vote for Nader.

Those Floridians: Fruits and Nuts.

LoL and LmAO.!!!!!!

President Embraces John McCain

Since President Bush now has thrown the huge weight of his support to John McCain, well, who am I to argue with the commander and chief of the free world?

If Chuck Norris says that McCain is so old that he will probably drop dead in the oval office, well, he is just a crazy actor reading from an old script.

Or crazy like a fox.

I've got a great idea for a veep for McCain:

It's Huckabee.

The Huckabee Surge will Hit November Like a Sunami!!!

Polls show that people are tired of closet-liberal John McCain pretending to be a conservative. People are also tired of the debates in the democratic camp about who will proudly raise taxes more. It seems that Huckabee is the name circulating around at all the mega-churches. It feels like the traditional values people will do it again and keep God in the White House--with God's help, of course.

It's Huckabee.

What to Do On a Friday Night

I would look at the debate between Barako Bama and Hillary Clinton this weekend, but I have something better to do. I am going to go watch a ping-pong ball get thrown off a bridge. LoL.

Huckabee or not To Be?

Anyone who doesn't vote for Huckabee for president of the United States is a total idiot who hates God. There I said it. People have been hounding me for my opinion about the presidential race for months and I have refrained from giving my opinion because I want my readers to form their own opinions after I present them with the facts, fair and balanced.

I can't stand it any more. When John McCain, that geriatric coward POW who got out of combat by allowing himself to get captured appeared on the cover of Time Magazine. I was ready to scream. Why doesn't the liberal media play fair? Huckabee is the true conservative who can carry on Bush's legacy.

It's Huckabee.

Bush Comforts Tornado Victims

Those tornado victims in Tennessee are sure lucky to have a president like President Bush. He took time out of his busy schedule to go down there and comfort them--and he isn't even running for re-election.

More evidence that although he it tough, he is compassionate.

By the way, it looks like they are going to put those 5 terrorists on trial in Guantanamo. Ha ha. They don't have a chance! They already confessed to everything!

I love America. We always win.

Hillary and Obama Hate Each Other So Much

I got a kick out of watching that California debate between Hillary and Obama. They hate each other so much. You could tell that Hillary was wishing that Bill weren't so geriactric so he could kick Obama's skinny ass. And Obama, you could tell that he wanted to hand Hillary a broom so she could fly away. Ha Ha Ha. She is so devisive and he is so inexperienced for the job.

There is no way around it. President Huckabee.

The State of the Union was Spot-on!

The State of the Union address last night was a work of art. Every time the camera focused on those Democrats in the audience you could see the guilt all over their faces. They were ashamed to be there, what with their pork barrel projects and do-nothing work ethic.

As Bush repeatedly pointed out how they have screwed up, congress looked like a scolded child listening to a speech by a renaissance genius like Leonardo Da Vinci.

Oh, our only hope is Jeb. Otherwise, this is the last Bush State of the Union for a while.

Pray for the USA.

Are We Ready For A Mormon In the White House?

According to the Mormons, who are also known as the "ladder day saints" on account of they will need one heck of a ladder to reach Heaven, the angel Macaroni visited a man named Joseph Smith and gave him golden tablets with the Book of Mormon printed on them.

He promptly lost them.

I don't think we need anyone from such a scatterbrained religion in the White House at this time. Imagine this scenario:

President Romney: Drop the big one on Iraq!
Advisor: But Mr. President we have troops there.
President Romney: Oops! My bad. I meant Iran.

Sorry. I will vote for Romney when they find those golden tablets. We still have plenty of good Republican candidates. We'll get the white house.

Is America Ready for A Black or a Woman President?

The question in the title is actually a misnomer. Really the answer is this: It depends on who. Sure it is possible to have an African American or a Woman president. I will be the first to admit, some women, like my mother, are even smarter than men! Some African Americans excel in areas other than music and sports.

Hillary Clintion? I don't think so. She wasn't very smart when she chose her husband, was she?

Barack Obama? (rhymes with Osama), I don't think so. He couldn't even make a free throw. If he was so smart, then why did he move from Hawaii to Illinois?!

Ann Coulter would be a perfect president, she would be a breath of fresh air, and she is pretty as well! Unfortunately, she has too much job security. Yes, I guess it is possible to do your job too well.

My nomination would be for Condi Rice. She is going to be sending out resumes soon, and she has proven that she is top-notch. Her record speaks for itself. Plus, did anyone notice? She is black and a woman.

Yes, we are ready for an African American and a women in the oval office!