A Response to Comments About My Blog On Beetle Baily

I have received many comments about what I said about Beetle Baily in an earlier blog. Well, I stand by my comments because that is what I honestly believe. I don't write in this blog based on popularity polls. I have to write what I feel is right. If Beetle Baily goes to Iraq, American kids will follow, and Iraq will be free.

Another Great Day In California

I am going condor hunting! I mean, these endangered species are endangered for a reason. They are just too dumb to survive. I say mow down the koala trees!

Ann Coulter is on my Nightstand

One of my readers commented recently that I should write Ann Coulter and ask her for a job as a joke writer. Well, readers, do you think she would give me a job? Every morning and night, her photo is the one I say "good morning" or "good night" to. My fantasy is meeting her on the beach and then she asks me to rub some oil on her.

They Seem To Like "Hanging Around" in Guantanamo

Those terrorists who hung themselves with bedsheets in Guantanamo will finally get their trial. I bet they are going to s*** their pants when they see Jesus there sitting on his throne next to God. Just imagine:

"Abdul, Why does the judge have holes in his hands and feet?"
"I don't know, Omar, but I think we bet on the wrong horse!"
"Horse? What ever are you talking about?"
"Is it too late to convert?"

Why Isn't Beetle Baily in Iraq?

If you ask me, Beetle Baily is just as bad as the draft-dodging Bill Clinton. If he really loved this country, he would be in Iraq! Sarge should be in Iraq, too! And his little dog with a uniform, he should be sniffing out mines. All of these characters in the funny papers are telling kids that it is ok to not be in Iraq. What this country needs is more kids thinking it is a good idea to go to Iraq. Heck, we need to replace the ones that can't fight any more.

The Iraquis are crybabies

What the Devil do they expect? I mean, now the Iraquis are complaining because soldiers are torturing and killing them? Come on. Let's get real. It is a war. If you were shooting people all day, you would have trouble too, stopping the killing, and if a little kid kept bothering you, asking for a stuffed animal when you had given all of your supply away, well you might just decide to blow him away. It is human nature.