Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sure Way to Stop Global Warming

The theory of global warming states that excess carbon dioxide emissions are making this planet like a greenhouse. Don't greenhouses make plants grow better? Hello?! Don't we like plants to grow well? We need to grow plenty of corn and other foodcrops for our next generation of bio-fuels. Wouldn't it be perfect? Instead of building a giant greenhouse, we make the world into one.

People say the glaciers are melting and the polar bears are running out of turf...Who needs glaciers anyway? I am sure Disney can mock up some glaciers that are even more interesting than the real ones. I already know that they can make some excellent animatronic bears.

Well, I guess you are thinking that my title is a little misleading. I wrote that title as a way of tricking the tree huggers into reading this. They need to face the truth and accept it. You drive cars, too. Don't you, tree huggers?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Democrats Want 4000 Americans Heros to die in Vain

The Democrats have been jumping around shouting "Cut and run! Cut and run!" as if four-thousand is some kind of magic number which means we should abandon our duties in Iraq. Let me point out something: Four-thousand is just three thousand ninety nine plus one!

That's right. Why were those liberals waiting for the number of war casualties to get so high? I will tell you. They want America to look bad.

President Bush pointed it out very succinctly: Most of the families of the heroes who have died would like their family members not to have died in vain. We must respect their wishes and keep fighting until our objectives are met and we have won the war on terror.

In 2001 we were brutally attacked with our own airplanes, which were hijacked by Arabs. We entered Iraq, an Arabic country, with a proud mindset to find Saddam's hidden weapons of mass destruction. Let me tell you something: We are gonna find those suckers.

Mark my words.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Floridians Still Don't Know How To Vote

The funniest laughfest of the day is when the newscasters start talking about Florida voters. Man, those fools still don't know how to vote. It seems that the Democrats moved their primary up into January when they were too hung over from New Years parties to be able to count the votes.

Those who voted for Hillary thought they were voting for Martha Stewart and those who voted for Obama thought they were voting for Bill Cosby.

It seems that a manatee tried to vote for Nader.

Those Floridians: Fruits and Nuts.

LoL and LmAO.!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

President Embraces John McCain

Since President Bush now has thrown the huge weight of his support to John McCain, well, who am I to argue with the commander and chief of the free world?

If Chuck Norris says that McCain is so old that he will probably drop dead in the oval office, well, he is just a crazy actor reading from an old script.

Or crazy like a fox.

I've got a great idea for a veep for McCain:

It's Huckabee.