Soldiers Give out Stuffed Animals To Iraqi Kids

The liberal press only wants to report the bad things, roadside bombs, mortor attacks, corruption. Well, wouldn't it be nice if they reported some news that could give the troops a warm fuzzy feeling? So far the troops have given out 7499 stuffed animals and stuffed smiley faces donated by the Wal-Mart Corporation. That is one toy for every child who wanted one in the largest orphanage in Bagdad, and one toy for every child who wanted one in the childrens' amputee ward of the National Hospital, currently run under the aegis of the good old US Army. Many of these kids never had a new toy in their life under the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein. The US Military is bringing joy and happiness and I challenge the mainstream liberal press to report it some time!

It's A Mexican Standoff!

Well, the Democrat party and Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez are toe to toe, eye to eye, waiting to see who will blink first and who will drop the chalupa. My money is on the sombrero-guy. He's not sleeping under a cactus with a burro, like most Mexicans. He is loyal to "el presidente" and I am damn proud of him!

The Attorney General Should Stick to His Guns!

Attorney general Alberto Gonzalez is my kind of Mexican. He wants what is best for the country. And I am talkin' about the United States. Heck, I love Mexican food and the reason Gonzalez fired those democrat sympathizers was because they were harassing the United States Government.
What part of "You are either with us or against us" don't they understand? They have to start thinking outside of the bun!
When those sympathizers try to investigate corruption in the federal government, they might as well join Osama and his crew. Our government is honester than a plain quesadilla with a dopple of sour cream.
I'd rather have Pancho Villa than Saddam Hussein any day!
Viva Gonzales!

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World Gets Flowers and a Nite on the Town

I am here in front of all cyberspace to announce that there is no way I will accept my girl leaving me. I know she loves me more than any woman in the world (except for my mom) and I know a good thing when I see it. Sweetheart, Brenda, you have already gotten the flowers by now. How about you accept my invitation to Olive Garden or Outback? It is on me. Pweeese!

Porcupinetaxi in love

Clinton and Obama Already are Running Scared

News reports that Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama are avoiding crossing paths with any of the Republicans who've thrown their hats in the ring are clearly true. It seems that the both of them choose the same hiding place, a civil rights rally in Selma, Alabama. Come on, get real. I bet those Southerners couldn't stop chanting, "We don't care how you do it up north!" They probably threw corn bread at them.

People are asking me who I endorse for the Republican (the winning) side of the ticket in 2008. Well, all I can say is that it's a good field and I am holding back on endorsing a specific candidate at this early time.

The British are Going! The British are Going!

We have to pick up the slack because the Brits are cutting and running in Iraq. If those Brits knew how to stay the course, maybe their empire wouldn't be something so tiny that the average American school kid can not find it on the world map. If they had fought harder, they could still have Hong Kong, India, Pakistan, Canada, The Bahamas, and a dozen other places.

What can we expect from a bunch of men who run around the countryside in skirts during their spare time!

Somebody Give Al Gore a Popsicle

Has anyone else noticed that while Al Gore is running around with his Hollywood flunkies shouting, "The sky is falling," and banging the drums of global warming, people are freezing their asses off in upstate New York? Global warming? He should check a thermometer.

Global warming is just a theory--just like evolution.

Brrrr. Someone hand Al a Popsicle and tell him it is an academy award. LOL.

Astro-nut Female Goes Hysterical

Nasa lost its gamble. It hired a female astronaut and somebody said something wrong to her and she went hysterical. In case you haven't heard, it was the wrong time of the month and she tried to kill a girlfriend of an astronaut who was a man.

Hey, do you know why they call it "The man in the moon?"
If they called it the woman in the moon it would be too unstable!
Lol.
Porcupinetaxi

Prayer Works!

I moved to the beautiful city of Garden Grove in the O.C. so that I could be closer to my church and it has sure paid off. I, my girlfriend Brenda, and a group of friends stayed into "overtime" after the services and prayed for the Colts to win the Superbowl. I almost feel guilty because God helped us so much that Chicago was totally humiliated. I wrote Peyton Manning and told him what he should know already in his heart, God is the real M.V.P.

The Dictators are Falling like Flies, except...

We have Saddam dangling on Youtube on every cellphone in the USA. We got stories of his associate's head popping off when the noose overtightened. Fidel Castro was on death's door, until a Doctor of short stature and high skills, educated in the US, began working for him. Dr. Reginald Gamma of the Maldive Islands bought a boat in the US and took it out for a spin and didn't stop until he got to Cuba. Now he is Castro's personal physician and Castro's health is improving by leaps and bounds.

President Bush, I know you read this blog. It is time to attack Cuba or the Maldive Islands, or both!

State of the Union: Bush Hits it Out Of The Ballpark!

I watched the state of the Union address on my new plasma TV last night and let me tell you, I have never been prouder of our president. He was clear and concise and didn't lose his concentration, even with that harpie, Nancy Pelosi, breathing over his shoulder. Can someone please talk to her about putting on makeup? Please?

Bush proved how we are resolved to win in Iraq. He also invited several heros to sit in the audience, among them, a guy who saved another guy from getting run over by a train in--of all places--New York City. It looks like Bush is keeping his eye on the sparrow.

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World Gets Flowers

I have sent some flowers to my wonderful and understanding girlfriend, Brenda. Sorry Honey if I neglected you.

Now back to politics. How about that Iraqi guy's head popping off when they hanged him?! I tell you. Don't mess with Uncle Sam!

Two Thousand Heros that Can win the War

The president's plan is fool proof. We send more troops (Mexican troops under US command) and deal with the changing dymamic in Iraq. That means that we overpower them and they simply will not know what hit them. The best part it that it is not an escalation, as critics keep misnomering. It is a surge in troop strength. With that increase in strength, we should be able to, excuse the expression, "kick the ass" of the Iraqis. Bush has shown bold initiative by ignoring both house and senate. He is a true leader. The legislative branch of government should get out of the way or suffer the consequences. If they don't...well, you saw what we did to Saddam!

And remember Iraq, God gave us Americans the bomb. You can't hide under your prayer rugs. You are either with us or against us.

Send Illegal Aliens to Fight the Iraqis

Our president wants to win the war in Iraq, but he knows that we need more fighters. Well, who are better fighters than Mexicans? We can solve the illegal alien problem and defeat the Iraqis just by sending our illegal aliens to do the fighting. Heck, we will have so many that we will be able to kick their asses with machetes!

The Democrats seem so worried about losing more American lives. Well, now they can't argue any more. Let's win the war and start pumping that oil. I have got an SUV to drive!

Jesus Would Have Hung Saddam

When Saddam Hussein turned down President Bush's polite request for him to take over the government of Iraq and "put things in order," he left our gallant president with only one alternative: Ask himself: "What would Jesus do?"

Well, if Saddam refuses to help the greatest democracy in the world, we should pull the plank out from under him and let the hangman's knot fall. That is what Jesus would have done. Our president did the right thing.

Check the Oil on that Ford

We must run President Ford's cadaver through rigorous testing for posioning. It just seems like too much of a coincidence that he dies of poisoning right after Vladimir Putin gave everyone the idea of culling enemies with secret toxins. It is just too much of a coincidence also that Ford would choose to die right after the democrats win the congress with their crooked voting machines. I say hook a geiger counter up to that corpse. He was a great American.

Bush Has A Secret Plan to Win in Iraq

Anyone who views "Barney’s Holiday Extravaganza" on the Whitehouse.gov website will see that there is a hidden message about President Bush's secret plan:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/holiday/2006/barneycam.html#

The little dog Barney is responsible for the holiday show, but he doesn't have a plot. He goes all over the White House and nobody will help him. Finally, he does some hilarious American idol type auditions and gets Carl Rove for the show. He gets encouragement from Emmit Smith, which shows that Bush is good for Black people. The show is so good that even Dolly Parton goes to the show. This shows that Bush is good for women (you can't deny that Dolly is a woman! I met her at Dollywood once).

Finally, Barney’s show is a big hit. Everyone applauds.

I feel that this is an allegory for President Bush's secret plan to win in Iraq. Just like Barney, he is being accused of not being prepared. Ultimately, by staying the course, the show goes off without a hitch. Iraq will go off without a hitch as well, when we bring in a new, democratically elected, Saddam.

Saddam was represented in the show by the cat. Notice how the cat came out from behind the curtain, which represents prison. The cat (Saddam) walked right into the camera, as if it were walking right into our lives. After the cat came out, everything went smoothly for Barney. The problem with Saddam was that he was a ruthless dictator. He was not democratically elected. If he is democratically elected (we can provide the voting machines) he will no longer be a dictator. I am sure that with the right kind of pressure, the Iraqi government can grant him a pardon.

The Christmas show ends with Santa, a snowman, and another character waving to the audience and saluting Barney. They represent the three ethnicities of Iraq, united by Bush (Barney) in a new, Christian Iraq, with a "new" Christian President, Saddam Hussein-- who will have found Jesus in the US prison system. Saddam and the Bush family were friends before. They can be friends again. After all, he is the only person who can control Iraq. We need him.

Forgiveness, human reconciliation, and peace on Earth. It is a beautiful story and a beautiful plan.
Happy holidays. ---Porcupinetaxi

Bush Should Ignore Iraq Study Group

The job of a leader is to lead, not follow. President Bush should ignore the findings and suggestions of the Iraq study group unless he can use them to illustrate how we should keep going the way we are until victory. What part of "Stay the course" do they not understand? We must keep fighting until the job's done!

We would have won in Vietnam, heck we would have Hanaoi full of McDonalds instead of just a couple, if Richard Nixon hadn't turned so liberal. And remember that James Baker once worked for Ronald Reagan, who was too liberal and had alzheimers.

I am proud of President George Bush for standing up against the tide of popular opinion in this country. There is a true leader in the oval office!

Send Bush Cards

Our commander and chief needs us. He feels all alone, now that the Democrats staged a coup and the Republicans are pretending not to know him. The president needs cards from regular people like you and upper class people like me so he won't feel like we don't appreciate what he is doing. Send your cards to

comments@whitehouse.gov.

President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC
20500

What Went Wrong!?

Everyone is asking what went wrong with the elections. I will tell you. Hugo Chavez, the friend of of Fidel Castro and president of Venezuela, hacked into the voting machines in the good old US of A and manipulated the results! Democracy? RIP. This is terrible because now President Bush feels nervous and insecure cause he thinks he has lost support. From the people I have been talking to, I get the idea that he really got the majority of the vote--the Republicans anyway.