Unsinkable

I felt a little overwhelmed and shy while participating at the White House Focus Group. Thank God that I got over it!

At one point I was just brainstorming  to myself while me and the other participants were watching Fox News. I said to the guy next to me that I could hardly wait until all my competition on the streets of LA driving my taxi is deported. You see half those guys are from Pakistan or Iraq or who knows where. They have more experience driving a flying carpet than a car. Well, the guy next to me busted into a fit of laughter. It turned out to be Steve Bannon and he said he would float my idea with the President. I said to him, "You think it's a good enough idea to float?" and he replied, "Unsinkable."

Next thing you know, we have a travel ban against the Muslims. If you need a ride in the Southland, just call me. And I won't pull over and point the car towards Mecca every four hours. LOL!

The Mexicans are Jumping like Jumping Beans

It seems like the Mexicans (especially the rapists and murderers) are very upset about the President's executive orders to build the wall. Let's strategically place Taco Bells every couple of miles along the top of the wall. They will see them, but not be able to enter without a legal visa! That will drive them crazy!

I have to admit, that Mexican food is good. I love those cinnamon crispas!

Smooth Transition and a Tremendous Start

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, my laptop was confiscated on the way into Trump Tower and when I got it back I noticed that security had been nice enough to upgrade my version of Windows. Unfortunately, a lot of my files were temporarily lost and I have still not found them.

But the great news is that I was put in a focus group to share my opinions about what the new administration should do. I am not racist, as a matter of fact I have a friend who is black, but haven't you noticed how smooth things have gotten now that the white house is not occupied by the Obamas!? Now it looks respectable and not like skid row on a Thursday night.

Our focus group got the most animated when it came to the discussion of what the new president should do first. Most of the guys (we were all guys) wouldn't stop shouting "Lock her up!" Some of them were pretty sore that Hillary is still free. Why hasn't President Trump locked her up anyway? He knows evidence against her that nobody else knows. I wanted to talk about the wall between the USA and Mexico. I figure that China makes a lot of money off their wall. If Trump Wall were really snazzy to the max, with gold on it, statues of President Trump as a Greek god posted as guardians, and everything, then it would be a tremendous tourist destination. It would make a lot of money--it would be a gold mine.

I live in Los Angeles, believe me, there are too many Mexicans. We need to put up the wall and send them the bill!

My Loyalty Pays Off!!!

There has been a great deal of buzzing on Twitter and Snapchat, Facebook and Vk.com about my recent photograph entering Trump Tower. I am not at liberty to verify or deny what the president elect and I discussed. Even if you asked me directly if I got an unpaid position as a special-secret advisor, I would probably neither confirm nor deny it.

I am just so proud to say that I am willing to serve this country and I love this country. I am not worried as to the president elect's shifting positions, because I remain loyal to the vision of Mike Huckabee. I told President-elect Trump that I knew he was smart because he is so rich. (Everything in his condo is coated in gold!). I also told him that I have no doubt that he won fairly and when he mentioned that he thought that Hillary was doing some sort of shenanigans in order to win the popular vote, I agreed.

It just may be possible that my facebook deluge with a last minute Trump recommendation tipped the scale for the GOP electoral college win. I have decided that the electoral college is the best way. It got George Bush into office and now we will have the really classy Trump family in the White House.

I can hardly wait til the Porcupine Taxi pulls up in front of the White House!

The Article Long Awaited--My Endorsement for President

It is with heavy heart that I am not able to endorse Mike Huckabee for the presidency of the USA. As you may have heard on the news, I have been on a forced digital cleanse and therefore have not been able to keep you up to date on my interesting opinions. It's been hard, but my heart is not so heavy as to not be able to make some comments before the election.

It is so good to be back. Since my return, I have been binging on the debates and other news outlets, such as Fox News. My friend, Mike Huckabee, sent me a flyer which advised me on which candidate to choose for president. I sent it back to him, requesting an autograph.

If we let Hillary Clinton win the presidency, then the oval office will become hot flash central. She would be declaring war one minute and then chattering on and on through the telephone with her Arkansas and Chicago Frenimies for hours on end. She will probably invite children into the place, just to make us think that she is a child lover. You know what they will do. Kids are basically sociopathic monsters, hand prints and all.


I recommend Donald Trump. He did a great job in his cameo on Home Alone and did a commanding performance in The Apprentice. I think he would be great as president. Not only that, he is a man. We have a tradition of male presidents and it is not the time to break the tradition. England had a female queen and look what happened to them. Sorry, I love America too much to say the politically correct thing and pretend that a woman is up to the job. The only  brassiere should be Donald's chest-undersupport garment!

Dirty Tricks Force Huckabee to Drop Out!

All of the supposed frontrunners in the race for the nomination of the winning party were afraid to debate Huckabee!
If he were allowed in the first string debate, he would kicked the a** of everyone there. Rubio still had cheese on his face from eating tacos before the debate. Cruz was slurring his words from too much cheap tequila. Bush peed his pants. He sure isn't his brother. Notice he doesn't even have a cool Texas accent like George? The black guy didn't seem to know where he was.

The only one who showed any respect for Mike Huckabee at all was Donald Trump. I therefore nominate The Donald to be the next president of the USA.

He will get rid of ISIS and the Mexicans (like Rubio and Cruz) who are only here for welfare checks!

God bless America!

Huckabee for Prez, The Donald for Vice Prez

After watching the debate on Fox, I have to admit, I like Donald Trump. Too many woman are giving guys like him a hard time and it's not the guys' fault. The fact is that it is scientifically proven that women become much more easily upset and "witchy" when they are going through their monthly cycle.  That reporter, Megyn Kelly, may have nice legs, but do we really want someone so unstable to moderate such an important event as a Republican Presidential Debate? Trump put her in her place, and she ought to thank him for it.

BTW: I would love to see the zingers Trump would come up with when debating Hillary Clinton!

But, alas, Trump could only aspire to be veep because there is still a better choice than Trump on the ballot.

It's Huckabee, period!

Huckabee Surging

My Buddy, Mike Huckabee, is surging ahead in the polls just by pointing out the obvious: The Irish have doomed themselves to extinction.

I've already told my other friend, a half-black real estate broker who lives on my street, to start checking out the real estate on the Emerald Isle. It's gonna be for the taking!

You see, future President Huckabee has pointed out that by promoting homosexual marriage more and more, the Irish are inadvertently putting straight marriage at risk. Eventually it will cease to exist. You can't have gay marriage without eliminating straight marriage, and that--DUH Leprechaun People!--is where babies come from.

Can this happen in the US? I don't think so because the US is a Christian country. Still we need a solid-guy a the helm who will call it like it is and on top of that bring a rock-solid first lady to the White House.

I Wish Netanyahoo Would Accept Jesus and then Be Our President

A big Yahoo for Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel. Speaker Bohner sent him an invitation on the sly, behind Democrat Obama's back and it worked like a charm. Smoke came out of Obama's big ears as Netanyahu accepted an invitation from the proud Republican Party to come and make a campaign stop in the good old Capitol of the US of A. He took time out of his busy schedule to do it! I had a feeling that guy couldn't pass up free plane tickets to the USA!

And guess what? After the reception he got in congress, he is leading in the polls in Israel. This Jewish guy is a shoe-in for winning the election in his country.  I say more power to him. (The other guy who is running is Jewish also.)

It's really quite simple. Nancy Pelosi called it condescension. I call it brilliance. He pointed out that negotiating with Iran is useless. We might as well not even try. If we try to talk it out, then we might fail. Or we might be successful--which would make us look weak. I think President Bush set the precedent of the best way to handle the Middle East. We have to sing that old Beach Boys tune:
Bomb, bomb bomb
Bomb bomb Iran.
Bomb, bomb bomb
Bomb bomb Iran....

Lol!

Huckabee! Huckabee! Huckabee!

Well, my personal friend, Mike Huckabee has started a historical process. He has begun an investigational committee into the feasibility of creating a panel to research the benefits of his running for the presidency of the United States!

I know that my pal, Mike Huckabee, will have a lot of damage control and cleanup after so many years with the Democrat Party in the White House, but he is definitely up to the job. (Heck, I'd rather clean up after a frat party then the Democrat Party! LoL). Obama is leaving the economy in tatters and it is his fault for the disfunction of congress! Also, gays are smoking marijuana and getting married to each other! The Keystone Pipeline, which would bring tar sands from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico, could be the next wonder of the world, but Obama is insisting on vetoing it. He says that it is putting the environment at risk, would not create as many jobs as we say, and would mostly benefit China and Canada. Well, I say this: WHAT DOES HE KNOW?

Huckabee has been on TV, the pulse of the nation, Fox News to be exact. Mike Huckabee knows what is good for the United States of America. Jump on my bandwagon and join me to welcome the next President of the USA. It's Huckabee.

Hell Freezes Over -- I Agree with Obama!

Well, I hope I don't lose my conservative credentials on this one, but I for once agree with the little guy with big ears in the White House.  Neither of us think that big government should be holding data about what web pages you or I visit and how long we are there.  Government shouldn't know who I call on the phone either.  Although we could trust the NSA when President Bush was in office, we definitely can't trust them with a Democrat party loyalist sneaking around the White House.

We agree that a third party should keep the data--a private business entity.  We can trust any of the Wall Street Banks or mega media conglomerates. They won't let the American people down because we are their bread and butter.   I have a prime suggestion: Target Stores.  You may think I am joking, but I assure you, they will never blunder again.  Their CEO went on television and promised.  The business of America is business!

Fox News is Right: Santa Claus is White

I have nothing against people who aren't white.  Heck.  I would be friends with you even if you were purple, as long as you are a good, Christian, stand up kind of guy. I even dated a girl once whose parents turned out to be black when I saw a picture of them!  I joke around with the Mexicans at my work and I even pick up fares who are not white while I am  driving around on a shift in my taxi--if it seems safe.

So keep that in mind when I tell you that the people at Fox News are not racist.  As a matter of fact, I think it is kind of racist to put a target on these fair and balanced newspeople and accuse them of racism just because one of them points out that Santa is white.  Santa is white in all the pictures, just as Jesus, whose birthday Santa is celebrating, is white in all the pictures. I know you will say that cameras didn't exist back in the old days, but most of the truly classic pictures of Jesus are based on the Bible.  That's a high enough authority for me!

God Bless Fox News!  

Obama is Spying on the French to get Pointers

It seems that Obama is trying to get even more socialist and liberal by copying the French.  It wasn't bad enough that when he was in Canada he was caught  with a lemon pie with the label written in French, now he is actually SPYING on the French so he can get ideas about how to be more liberal and cowardly!

I am sorry, but I can't think of a more boring passtime than sitting in the White House and listening to a bunch of French diplomats arguing about the kind of sauce that is going to be on their lunch--paid for by taxpayers in their socialist system.

I hope everyone connects the dots and notices that France's socialist healthcare system is not what the people want in the USA.  We would rather pay lower taxes and then pay for our doctors after we get sick, that way we won't pay for anyone but ourselves!

We Don't Like it Sam I Am!!!

If Obama doesn't do what we Republicans say, then he can take full blame for shutting down the government.

I just want to point out to any of my Democrat party readers--and I know I have plenty--that this shutdown is not the fault of the GOP.  This Obamacare fiasco is, as Texas senator Ted Cruz (a light skinned latino) points out, this whole healthcare fracas is like "Green Eggs and Ham." 

Well the people don't want to have healthcare!  It is just too much of a boondoggle.  It is like solar.  Who needs it?  Well the people don't want to try the green eggs and ham, so we shouldn't serve it to them.  Politicians like Senator Ted Cruz and House Speaker John Boener (pronunced BAINER, Democrats!) see no reason in serving this Green Eggs and Ham to the American people.  The people won't like it!  They don't need it!

So let's just not waste time in letting the American people try it.

Then, when it is defunded, cancelled, redacted, defunct, code blue dead on arrival, the government can resume normal functions--under the watchful eye of the Republican Tea Party!

Yes!

Bye Bye Crystal Cathedral

Well, those shylocks in the Catholic church have gotten their grubby claws on my beloved Crystal Cathedral.  The Schuller family tried to hold on to it with their usual and natural dignity, but when faced with the possibility of bankruptcy and ruin, they finally decided to put her down.
The Crystal Cathedral was built as a Christian church!  To worship Jesus in a way that shows the world the affluence and belief of true Christian worshippers.  Now the non-Christians, the Catholics, have already moved in with their nuns and remodeling plans.  I suppose they are going to paint the cieling as well.  That's just what those people do.

Gay Marriage is Illegal--Get Over it!!!

I never turn down a fare, unless the potential customer looks dangerous.  So I admit that I provide plenty of obvious homosexuals trips in my taxi.  I will admit that they tend to tip well and that's fine, just as long as they don't try to kiss me or ask me for my phone number.

You see, I am 100% man.  I am a straight man.

Just the other day I got a call for a fare outside a fancy and expensive hotel (I won't mention the name) and this guy with perfect hair, Captain Kirk sideburns and wearing a "I support gay marriage" button on his lapel gets in the car.

I had to point out the obvious to this oblivious queen!  "Hey," I said, "Do this equation:  Bridezilla minus groom plus homo equals what?"

He responded, "What?"

I told him, "Two bridezillas!"  But he didn't seem to get my point.  I asked him if he peed sitting down and he got hysterical and asked me to stop the cab.  I did.  This flambouyant guy was gone in a flash.  Not a big tip this time.  He seemed to have something against me from the moment I told him I was streight.

Happy President's Day

I fondly remember our greatest presidents today on President’s day:  Ronald Reagan and George Bush.  Together they have helped make this country what it is today.  President Reagan got the crazy people off the public dole when he closed down countless psycho-hospitals.  Those people can fend for themselves just fine on the streets.  As the great communicator said in an interview with ABC News, ''They make it their own choice for staying out there."

President Bush got the economy on a trajectory where it is finally getting better.  Even Mista' Obama gave him credit when he said that he inherited the economy from President Bush.

Porcupine taxi salutes two great Republican presidents!!!

Beyonce Fakes Star Spangled Banner=TREASON

I don't know about you, but I think that Beyonce should be heavily fined and maybe serve some time in Levenworth for faking the Star Spangled Banner at that fiasco Obama called an inaguration.  It sounded to me like she was mouthing the words to the sound track of an old Kate Smith video from Youtube.  It is a disgrace; and I think everyone noticed her husband, Snoop Dog, was sitting there in the bleachers with Clinton smoking marijuana.  Oh, well, at least they weren't inhaling!!!  Hahaha!!!!!
But seriously, if that good for nothing attorney general doesn't put her up on charges for treason, then I think congress should have a couple of months investigating him and firing him after all his dirty laundry is out there.

We need to Double What the NRA Said

While it is true that the only one who can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, I must point out that the NRA is not completely right. 

Instead of having an armed guard in every school, we need a squad of an undisclosed number planted in every school.  If some psycho nut knows that each school only has one armed guard, well, that guard is toast.  He is the first one to get blasted every time.  Any psycho organized enough to remember his bullet proof vest and high density ammo cartridges will know that.

 My suggestion is to pass a law that implants an entire squad of heavily armed sharpshooters in every school in the USA.  Each squad will consist of snipers, sharp shooters, and quick draw experts who will pass regular achievement tests. 

Some of these guards will be plainclothes or undercover and others will be stationed at strategic locations in body armor.  We can even have one under ground in a maze of mandated access tunnels so that he can pop up anywhere and take out the shooter.  This plan is the only way we can really solve our problems with violence in schools.  It is the least we can do for the children.  Children are our future and we must protect them.

It's a Wonderful Life? I Don't Think So!

Well, Jimmy Stewart's socialist commie love fest was just presented on network television and I have to ask you something:  What the heck happened to the brains of these network executives and why do they present a socialist agenda on corporate owned television?!

From the get-go, young George Bailey should have been named Vladimir Bailey what with his crying for socialized medicine when he hurt his ear for sledding with a shovel.  He really should have worked and saved up money so he could pay his own doctor bills or better yet, have bought a sled. If he weren't collecting welfare, maybe he would have used that shovel to earn some bucks!

And what's with all this WW2 stuff about the community getting together to collect scrap metal for the soldiers.  The government could do the job much cheaper if we hire private contractors instead.  Plus, regular citizens wouldn't have to  become a bunch of junkmen!

But the worst part was the portrayal of Henry F. Potter, the only businessman in town, as far as I could tell, who created jobs.  He was demonized just for wanting to do what everyone wants to do--make money.  It was totally unfair.

And any student of Ayn Rand will aptly point out to you that the truely selfish one was George Bailey.  The only reason he helped people was because it gave him a good tingly feeling inside to promote socialism and ruin society.  Some of the people he helped looked like drunks.

When the whole town shows up in Bailey's house at the end of the picture, a horrible orgy of "share the wealth" ensues and the movie ends not making a lick of sense:  The criminal, who should go to jail, is suddenly off the hook.  He lost the money!  He should pay for his irresponsibility.  What kind of lesson is this for our children?

Worse yet is the whole thing about the guardian angel, Clarence.  The fact that he is sent down there to help a "discouraged" George Bailey shows us how these film makers need to get into a Christian church because they definitely do not understand God.  Why would God send an angel to help a freeloader who can barely support his kids and not to Mr. Potter, who is in a wheelchair and needs more help after a lifetime of creating jobs and helping the community remain free? 

It should definitely not be a hit.