Let's Be Fair

Let's be fair and continue the tax cuts for all Americans.  Someday I plan to be as rich as Bill Gates, so, when I am, I won't want to pay any taxes at all.  I want to own fifteen mansions!  I will be so rich someday that I will hire Aerosmith and Fergie to play at my parties.

So, let's keep the tax cuts for the richest Americans.

Don't you aspire to be rich someday?  Protect your own interests!!!

I Say Have a Koran Tea Party

Burning Korans might be in bad taste.  It would make smoke all over the place and then the liberals would complain of the CO2 causing more global warming. 

Let's instead, have a little tea party in the harbor.  We could dress up all in togas, like Arabs, and take those Korans and chuck them all into the sea off the dock in Louisiana.  Heck, if we accidentally throw in a cigarette, maybe the water would  catch on fire and we could burn off some oil!

How's that for a crusade?!!!

Roll Out the Hummers, BAby!

Ok, they capped that leaky oil well.  I knew the oil company would turn out to be a stand up kind of guy.  It turns out that the microorganisms in the gulf love to eat oil.  Basically, all that hullabaloo was just about a few one-celled creatures having a snack. 

The water is going to be cleaner than it ever was.  Even Mister Obama took a dip in the Gulf.  You know he wouldn't do that if he thought it would get on him--HE'S SLIPPERY ENOUGH AS IT IS.

So, Environazis, relax.  Have a shrimp cocktail and some of your pino noir from France.

Let's get back to drilling so I can lease a Hummer.

Obama is Trying to Reduce the Supreme Court to a TV Episode

Excuse me, but what the heck is going on?  The United States Supreme Court is an important branch of the US government.  It checks and balances all kinds of decisions made by the government.  It protects the rights of individuals and corporations alike, so that the nation's economy can be strong. 

I really don't think it is the place for incessant cackling about Prada shoes or which mall is having the best sale.  And I especially don't think it appropriate to inject all that drama that comes from monthly cycles, and the gossip about relationships, or the  competition over who has a more stylish cloak.

C'mon, we already have two women on the supreme court.  Three of them would create a Sex in the City atmosphere which would undoubtedly make the male justices feel uncomfortable.  Let's think of their rights for a change.

Don't get me wrong, I think one or two female justices is OK.  The thing is:  With the Supreme Court, three is a crowd.

Hottest Chicks are in GOP

We got Sara,we got that new chick in South Carolina.  We gots all the hot chicks.  I tell you, the Republican Party is not only the party of lower taxes and keeping the government out of your private lives (exclude abortion--which is murder and cleaning up the oil spil, which is Obama's fault) and sexy chicks. 

Just the other day I was in a Starbucks buying a regular coffee, and a girl sitting there couldn't keep her eyes off of me.  If I hadn't been in such a hurry, I would hae gotten her phone number.  Yeah, being a Republican is SEXY.

Obama Emotionless Automaton

Obama says he's mad, but he shows no emotion at all.  I am starting to wonder if he is some kind of tin man, an automoton fabricated by those Democrat Party jerks to ruin our country.  I mean, if he really cared about that oil spill (which is being highly exaggerated) he would start cursing and shucking and jiving!  Instead, all he does is show us a picture of a dead bird (photoshop anyone?) and then clench his jaw and blame BP.

I demand that Obama be given a complete physical exam, including bloodwork, by a doctor chosen by the Republican National Committee, so we can verify if he is some kind or robot or not.  I am serious.

Do Ask Do Tell

I don't think that a soldier who has just been shot by a Taliban bullethole is going to want a homosexual touching his body, picking it up, and carrying it out of the line of fire.  This would really not be the time for getting "excited" and having romantic distracting thoughts.

If gays are allowed to openly serve in the military, then these guys would always make an initial effort to protect the better looking soldiers.  Therefore, the ugly soldiers, who are usually our most productive and tough fighters, would be open to added danger and, let's call it like it is, extermination.

Make love not war?  It is a slogan that was wrong when they came up with it and it is still wrong!!!

Tar Balls May Actually Increase Tourism on Gulf Coast

A recent study by the Land Institute shows that tarballs from the leaking oil pipeline may actually help the economies on the Gulf Coast.  When asked how far they would travel to see a "tar ball," respondents actually gave an average of fifty miles farther then the distance they would travel to see Disneyworld.

So, although the hatch to cover the leak did not work, maybe this whole thing will have a silver lining and pull some of our red-states out of the economic doldrums.

People in my city spend a lot of money to see the La Brea Tar Pits Museum, and it just has a small amount of tar.  It seems to me that the bigger the tarball, the better.

I'd pay to see that!

Salute to the Heroes

Let's all salute the heroes who sacrifice to make this world a better place.  Those folks at BP oil company are just like you and me, only braver and smarter.

It takes a lot of courage and know-how to patch together a dome the size of  a three story building and then lower it down a mile to the sea floor to recover oil that would otherwise be wasted by leaking and disappearing into the sea.  These guys (and gals!) go to the extreme to use every drop of oil and thus protect mother earth.  Plus, we get to drive around in our motor vehicles.  I swear I will have enough money to lease a Hummer someday.

I am confident that they will get that dome working in no time.  I applaud the heroes at BP.

You should too.


............................................................................................

Still, Baby, Still !

If this country had more experience drilling for oil, that accident wouldn't have happened in the gulf!  We can't let enviro-nazis twist this thing around and try to use it to their advantage.  What we need it to drill even more so that we can get experience!

Watch the news carefully.  They will try to pass off a crow as a seagull covered with oil!  Don't believe them.  We need the energy and fuel.

Drill, Baby, Drill!

Seen One Tree, Seen um all!

An article in USA Today said that the USA is losing trees faster than any other heavily forested nation.  Well my question is this:  Why do we need to be so heavily forested in the first place?  I know that according to some wacky atheist theories we are descended from monkeys, but come on, we don't live in trees now!

We live in structures and parking lots and supermarkets and malls.  I suppose that none of those tree-huggers have ever been to Disneyland?  Forget about it!  I say that if you have seen one tree, you have seen them all.  We need to knock down those eyesores so we can build a human-friendly world, which would include plenty of zoos for the monkeys.

Justice Huckabee

The pressure is on and you can be part of it by sending an email to Obama demanding that he name Mike Huckabee as the next supreme court justice.  Obama is always  talking about being fair.  It's time for him to put his money where his mouth is.  The only fair thing to do is to name Mike Huckabee as the next supreme court justice.  Mike Huckabee cares about America!

send your demands to:

obama@whitehouse.gov

or
You can also call or write to the President:


The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500


Phone Numbers

Comments: 202-456-1111

Switchboard: 202-456-1414

FAX: 202-456-2461

Obama Must Put a Conservative on the Supreme Court

Now that a liberal (borderline communist) is quitting the Supreme Court, Americans must pressure Obama to appoint a conservative to the supreme court.  The liberals had had their chance.  We must all send T-bags to the white house to give the message that  Ann Coulter would be the best choice for the next justice.  She is young, conservative without being extreme, and easy on the eyes.

Welcome to Russia!

Well those Bolsheviks in the House of Representatives have done it.  This country is not free any more thanks to Pelosi and her pals.  Healthcare has been shoved down our throats.  If we want the people to get what they want, we need to fight any prescription Doctor OBama makes from now on.  I am not a racist, but doesn't Doctor Obama sound just like some kind of African Witch Doctor who needs to be defeated by Tarzan in order to help the natives!?  Fellow natives, we have a couple of Tarzans out there.  Mike Huckabee and John McCain!

The Democrats Need to Start Over Again

Mister Obama is going to be a one-term president.  I can just feel it in my bones.   He simply can't get anything done.  He has spent so much time (and taxpayers money!) on this healthcare plan.  Can't he get it through his liberal head:

THE PEOPLE DO NOT WANT HEALTHCARE

By the time midterm elections come around, I predict that he will get zero votes.  I say the Democrats need to junk the healthcare plan that they have (especially the death panels) and start over.  We have the best things in the world in the USA--including insurance companies.  The only plan that makes any sense would be controlled by insurance companies.  They are doing a good job now, aren't they?

Alexander Haig R.I.P.

He would have been a great president.  Somewhere up in Heaven, God is feeling a little safer to have Al Haig in the ranks.

Looks Like God Isn't Happy With Washington

All this snow seems to give me an idea that those fools in the White House better clean up their act.  I mean, come on!  They have got to give up on this healthcare thing.  Can't they get it through their heads that the people do not want healthcare!

I saw Sarah Palin in the news coverage of those tea parties and let me tell you, she was a breath of fresh air.  She is so different than those intellectuals in power.  We need someone like us in power.  When she spoke the keynote for the tea party conference I felt like I was in a wonderland!

We Got the Supreme Court, We Got the Supreme Court!

Ha ha ha. And there went Ted Kennedy's seat in the senate to a more qualified Republican candidate--great interviewer, the ladies think he's handsome, super qualified!

And it sounds like that Obamacare scam has run its course. LOL.

The Democrat party might as well give up. We will block anything they try to do and they will come out with egg on their faces. They might as well go along with us Republicans if they want to be remembered as a do something congress!

Ha ha! And look what happened to Tiger Woods! LOL.

Remember Jesus is the Reason for the Season

Remember that the whole reason we celebrate Christmas and New Years is because of the Birth of Christ. Jesus is the Reason for the season!

Party crashers In White House

That would never have happened if Bush were still president. I can't believe that Obama actually shook hands with those reality stars who snuck into the white House. He sucks!

Thank You for Not Shopping At Macy's

The people at Macy's are unholy and there are a bunch of pickpockets hired by the store to steal your money while the ladies who work there distract you. Do not shop at Macy's!

Balloon Boy's Dad Voted for Obama

That idiot dad who called in a false 911 call to report his kid flying away in a balloon, probably voted for Mister Obama. It seems that he is from an area that disrespects the law and supported Mister Obama. I call him Mister Obama because I don't think he deserves to be called President.

Mister Obama? It sounds like some kind of a ship's captain from an old Humphrey Bogart movie! Ha ha!

If Norway is the Best Place To Live Why Doesn't Gallup Go There!?

How dare the people recently polled declare that Norway is the best place to live. Can kids go on country picnics with pie eating contests in Norway? I don't think so. What about small farmer making a living off the land in small town America? Won't happen in Norway! Too frozen.

A recent survey of American schoolchildren found that a large majority of them didn't find Norway important enough to learn to spell its name nor learn the capital. I think this indicates how important Norway really is. Most kids in Norway end up as sardine fishermen and housewives who needlessly worry about them. Deadliest catch? I don't think so.

So Don't tell me that Norway is better than America. I don't see Gallup moving there, do I?

Why Should We Help People Just Because They Are Sick?

The way these health care (should read health scare!) plans are set up, healthy people's money will be siphoned out of their wallets so that sick people will get treatment. Hello? Does something sound out of sync here? I mean, why should I be paying doctors' bills when I don't need a doctor? And why should I pay for someone who God chose to strike ill for mysterious reasons.

The good Lord has blessed me with good health, and I am ever so grateful. US government, keep your hands out of my pockets!

Mister Obama's Speech

Obama is not a doctor. What does he know about healthcare? If he gave me medicine, I would call the police.

Now, the Republicans had a real doctor respond to Obama's speech. He knows what he is talking about. If we reform health care, the government will take over health care and you will have politicians deciding what kind of medicine you take.

I don't know about you. If I get sick, I prefer to see a doctor--not a witch-doctor!

healthcare.gop.gov

Everyone Cut and Paste This!

No one should die because they cannot afford health care due to Democrat tax hikes, and no one should go broke because they get sick from seeing Obama on TV.

Death Panels: Not Such a Good Idea

Sarah Palin valiantly pointed out that the idea of death panels is an immoral idea. I second the motion! I don't think it's fair for Mister Obama to decide who lives and who dies. Suppose your grandma has a disease and needs expensive medicine to save her life. With death panels, if Obama doesn't like the looks of your grandma, she goes on a list with a skull and crossbones at the top of it. Then she has to watch a movie about nature and they kill her off with a poison cookie.

No, sorry. No healthcare reform for me! We have the best system in the world. It works perfectly. You want to know what my grandma says? "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" I sure hope you won't kill her for saying that.

It's Time For the Airlines to Get With The Times

I can't believe that the a**holes at American Airlines won't let me talk on my cell phone during the flight! They wouldn't let the old lady in the seat next to me use the phone either. And get this: They won't let you make a call on your own phone in their plane, even though you paid your hard-earned money for an overpriced ticket!

It is time for the airlines to get with the times. I don't want to sit quietly and read on a plane, I am a blogger and I have to constantly follow down leads for topics and stories. Plus, I find it interesting to listen in on callers in nearby seats to hear what they have to say. Don't judge me. I know you do it too!

It would just be better for everyone if the airlines would get with the times and let people talk. Haven't they heard of freedom of speech?

I recently flew to Las Vegas, by the way. It was beautiful. I heard some great crooners and got some cheap lobster dinners. I didn't gamble, so don't worry. It is against my religion.

Schoolchildren Don't know the Capital of Norway

People blamed George W Bush because American schoolchildren did not know the capital of Norway. Well, Obama has been president for seven months and look at the state of education. The kids still do not know the capital of Norway.

It seems that Obama's education iniatives get an F-.

By the way, the capital of Norway?
The letter "N."

LOL

Obamacare is Making Me Sick

I went to my doctor today because I dropped a car battery on my toe and had to wait six hours for some service. The girl at the counter was shouting in some strange foreign language to some other foreigners in the back. Since I was there so long, I struck up a conversation with the old lady next to me. She was nice, even though she was from another country. I said, "What are they yelling about?" She said that someone stole that receptionist's flip flop! What kind of doctor's office is this?!

Obamacare hasn't even started and already things are a disaster. Can you imagine how much things will deteriorate after congress and Mister Obama institute their socialized health care plot!

Tribute to Michael Jackson

Let's say a few words in memory of the King of Pop. Gone too soon.

Why Is Obama Talking to Terrorists?

I told you this would happen. Obama is over there in Egypt, eating falafels and shaking hands with those terrorists. And all those terrorists are cheering for him. I bet they think they bought tickets for an Osama speech!

A rose by any other name....LoL

Supreme Court or Taco Supreme?!!!

What could be more un-American than to nominate an illegal alien for the supreme court? I have information that strongly suggests that that señora who Mister Obama nominated for the Supreme Court used to be making taco supremes at the local Taco Bell. I am not being racist, but, has anyone asked her for a green card? I have seen no evidence whatsoever that shows this lady to have papers.

Wouldn't it be simpler and safer to just put an American man on the Supreme Court?

Economic Times Call For Double Duty!

It is definitely time to weaponize the Hubble Space Telescope. The US taxpayer can not afford to shell out hard-earned cash so that astronauts can fly around the globe on frivolous junkets to talk to schoolchildren long distance and mess around with "mirrors the size of refrigerators."

I do just fine with my 3X5 mirror in my apartment. Most of the women in my apartment building look at me and compliment me on my style. So the mirror seems to work! NASA shouldn't even have to repair a mirror. What? Are they going to tell us that it is worn out? How do you wear out a mirror? By looking at it too often???

Budget constraints demand that we put the Hubble Telescope on double duty. We must weaponize it now. A "telescope" orbiting the Earth, equipped with lasers and nuclear missiles would send a definite message to the terrorists. They would be looking up all the time.

It is time to make the world safer by weaponizing the Hubble Space Telescope.

Obama's Joke about Cheney is not Funny

I just want everyone to know that I do not find Obama's joke about former Vice President Cheney to be funny. He said that Cheney was busy writing his memoirs with the working title as: "How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People." That kind of humor is offensive and in bad taste. Well it's no wonder that nobody thinks he's funny.

If he thinks he is the next Flip Wilson, he has another thing coming!

Shut The Border With Mexico

If Obama had any guts he would close the border with Mexico ipso facto, which is Spanish for ASAP. Every time one of those guys comes over to take one of our jobs, he brings germs, microbes, and pestilence. If we close the border now, Americans will stay healthy and we can lead the world the way we are supposed to.

I am not saying anything against the Mexicans. Some of my best friends have Spanish surnames. But they were born in America. If those guys from south of the border get a fever and feel woozy, they can put on a mask and head over to Cuba--since they think the commies have such a good health care system.

We Have a Crisis and Obama's Traveling Around

Obama has spent more time out of the country than in the country. We should buy him a cruise ship and park it on the Potomac. One day he is hugging a Frenchwoman and the next he is comparing Hungarian Goulash with Louisiana Cajun Frickazee!

Last time he was on the news, he was stuffing his face with tacos in Mexico!

Hey, Barak, don't drink the water!

LOL

Photographers Caught OBama Shaking Hands with Chavez

Well, I bet Obama's face was red when he noticed that a news photographer caught him shaking hands with his socialist buddy, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. This happened just yesterday at the Summit of the Americas, which is being held on some unknown island in the Caribbean. Next thing you know, he is going to be showering with Castro!

I told you this would happen!

What a Faux Pas

I can't believe Michelle Obama touched the Queen of England. Everyone knows that you are not supposed to touch the Queen of England. Sounds like the Obamas might fit in better at a cheese steak shop on the south side of Chicago. Ha ha ha.

Let AIG Executives Keep Their Bonus

We have to look at it two ways:
1. AIG Executives are used to a certain standard of living.
2. End times are coming.

When I get a good tip in my taxicab, I am happy and I go out and buy some nicotine patches and maybe a burger. If fancy Wall Street Executives don't get their bonuses, they won't have money to give me a tip. HellO?!!! That means the Wallgreens won't get their money for the nicotine patches and the In and Out Burger won't get their cash either. It is like a constipated intestine for the economy. As much as you might not like it from your perspective, the bonuses are like the Ex-lax to make the economy regular.

Also, if we look at the big picture, end times are coming. If we just stop worrying about little things, they will take care of themselves, because Jesus is coming! Soon!

Obama's Making Enemies

Obama keeps going on television and cancelling our favorite shows. This makes me mad. Not only does he ruin the economy, he keeps us from being able to forget about it for a while by watching our favorite shows.

On another note. Yes, I was banned from Twitter, and I am proud of it.

I Couldn't Think of A Better Leader

I nominate Rush Limbaugh for the head of the RNC. He is definitely more famous than the present leader, and he doesn't ever put his foot in his mouth, like our current head. One thing about Rush, you know what his opinions are. No to murdering pre-born babies through abortion, check. No to homosexuals getting special rights, check. Yes to helping the economy by cutting taxes for everyone (Hey, rich people have rights, too!), check.

One more thing, Rush is not a racist or sexist and his problems with oxy-contin were blown way out of proportion by the liberal news media. I am fully aware that an addiction to oxy-contin can lead to damage to the hearing apparatus, but, and this is a big but, RUSH LIMBAUGH'S NEED FOR A COCHLEAR IMPLANT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS DRUG PROBLEM. I AM CALLING THE PRESS OUT. STOP PUNISHING HIM FOR A COINCIDENCE. He just happened to get a hearing problem, while boldly kicking a tough habit, so God provided him with enough money to avoid deafness with an expensive operation, and now he is better than ever.

Listen to him on the radio. You will say:

Ditto!

Obama's Popularity is a Result of Trickery

There's no way that Obama's ratings could be that high. I am sure that this is the result of some kind of trickery. We just have to figure out what is happening. By the way, why aren't there more tax cuts in the stimulus package? The Bush tax cuts were just beginning to improve the economy and if the economy improves, I give credit to the Bush tax cuts!

Americans Must Stick Together

We have got to stick together. These economic times brought about by this Obama Recession are rough for all of us. The only way to beat it is for all Republicans to stick together to make sure that Obama is not successful. Filibuster away! If we can hold out, then Obama will be marked as a failure and we can win the White House back in four years.

Methinks the Democrats Trying a Little too Hard

If the Democrats think they are going to legitimize Obama's presidency just by showing up in droves to Washington DC, well, they got another thing coming.

Don't blame me. I voted for McCain!!!


Porcupinetaxi

Take That, Democrats!

When George Bush drove Clinton out of office, all those Democrat working stiffs were so upset because they were out of work that they stole all the "W's" off the White House keyboards. Totally babyish!

We Republicans know how to get our revenge. The President (yes, Bush is still the president, although Obama doesn't seem to think so) has signed an order to permit people to bring their concealed weapons into National Parks. Ha ha. Deal with that one, first amendment haters!

I just might go bear hunting this weekend! (Hands off that pick-a-nick basket, buddy!!!) Ha ha. Lol!!!

Special Embassador to the World Post Remains Open

Thanks to (still) President George Bush, the people in Iraq have so much confidence in their freedom of speech that some of them may get carried away and throw their size ten shoes in the wrong direction. One shoe-flinging reporter is now incarcerated in Iraq for "threatening a president" as well he should be. The Iraqis are like baby birds teetering on the edge of a nest, getting ready to fly. Just as I can not yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater, they can not throw shoes in a celebration of free speech. You can hurt someone. That reporter must be prosecuted as an example to the other people, who are learning about freedom.

Just remember, if this had happened under Saddam Hussein, that guy would have been killed for what he did.
Through the whole incident, our President made a light-hearted quip, "I saw his sole" he said. He just came up with that quip off the cuff the next day in an interview. We need that kind of guy around. I nominate him for the post of Special Embassador to the World. Obama, prove that you are really reaching out to the red and blue states and give Bush the job.

Earth to Obama: You Are Not Sworn in Yet

It seems as if his bossy wife has forgotten to tell him that he is still not president. Obama is acting as if he's in charge. Everyone, write him e-mails and let him know that he's just gotta stop hogging those TV cameras. Heck, he is on TV more than Paris Hilton. And where do you think is the best place to send those e-mails? Where will he get them for sure? E-mail theWhite House, where Obama is trying color swatches for the new curtains!!!

Support the Conservative Cause any Way you Can!!!

Donate money to Christian churches, watch Fox News, keep your radio tuned to Rush and Sean and most of all KEEP TUNING IN TO THIS BLOG. I promise I will keep this liberal coup in check. I know, that this is unheard of, having one party with so much power in America. Well, I think that we are going to have to let out a PRIMAL Roar!!! to show that the Republican Party is still the best party in the world.

God Bless America!!!

Four Years of Socialism, Terrorist Buddies, Moslem Names, Spread the Wealth!!!

This wouldn't have happened if he had picked Huckabee.

:-(

Everybody With a Brain--Vote!!!

Let's get every reader of this blog out there to vote. If you all show up at the polls, I think that Peter Jennings will have to serve himself up a huge helping of crow. That is what he deserves for reporting all of those pubilc opinion polls which are skewed against the Republican ticket.

If you want a genuine hero who has plenty of training in tactics and survival and who was born in America, and chooses a running mate who can break the glass ceiling that Hillary Clinton put so many cracks in, then McCain is your man.

If you want a socialist liberal, whose aunt is an illegal alien, whose children dressed at Taliban terrorists for Halloween, who hangs around with William Ayers--another terrorist, who goes to elitist and intellectual vogue parties with the likes of Paris Hilton, who has no executive experience, and was shown on the cover of New Yorker Magazine in the actual uniform of an Al Quaida Terrorist, who rides on a fuel guzzling plane while hipocritically touting alternative fuels, whose wife says that she is ashamed to be from the USA, except for one occasion, and whose middle name is Hussein, then vote for Obama.

Just remember that Democrats vote on Wednesday! Lol!!!

I Salute Joe The Plumber

Joe, if it wasn't for you, the common man wouldn't dream. Yes, you know what I am talking about. I am talking about that crazy dream of yours to get a two hundred and fifty thousand income someday. And you are well on your way. You have it all laid out, starting with shooting down Obama's half-baked tax plan that will not do you any good at all once you have achieved your dream.

You remind me of myself. I drive a taxi, but someday I am going to be rich, and when I am, I want a president who will look out for my interests, not some guy who will stick his hand into my pocket, take my wallet, and "spread the wealth around." Together we will bring down Obama, who may have a plan that would benefit us slightly now, but would hinder us from achieving our dreams.

Joe, I look forward to the day when I turn on my radio and Rush Limbaugh announces that you have gotten your plumbers license, bought your bosses business, and made your first million!

In your face OBama!!!

McCain Has the Perfect Temperment

McCain has the right temperament to get the job done. Also, as he did with his vice presidential choice, he will surround himself with qualified people who know their stuff. I have a suggestion for secretary of state. It is not a black and not a woman.
It's Huckabee.




McCain-Palin

Do We Really Know Who Obama Is?

Sitting here watching the campaign ads on my new flat-screen TV, I came up with this realization all on my own. Do we really know who Barak Obama is?

I hear that he lived in a foreign country. Why would anyone want to live in a foreign country unless they hated America? Also, I hear he is friends with a buddy who wants to secede from the USA.

He was seen eating pizza with a fork and knife. He doesn't even know how to eat American food. His wife passes up the superior quality US made shoes and buys shoes from Europe. Europe, that is where France is.

Plus, he was born in Hawaii. The Republican Party got hold of copies of his passport and birth certificate to prove that he was born in Hawaii and posted it on truefactsverified.com. Someone born in another country, like Hawaii, should not be eligible to be president of the USA, I don't care if he is black or white, there should be a law.

So maybe you should ask yourself: Isn't it high time to get familiar with this Obama character? To find out more about him is easy, just watch more of Sarah Palin's speeches. She is a streight-shooter who is easy on the eyes as well.

Porcupinetaxi, signing off.

McCain-Palin 08

Sarah Palin Wins Debate

I think Sarah Palin has excellent legs for a woman her age. I mean, she can take me hunting caribou any time. Yes, I was enthralled by the debate she mastered against that shmoe from the Democrat party. She kicked his ass. I was really impressed. Although the Democrat had really taken an unfair advantage by preparing a lot of pat answers to her well thought-out praise for John McCain, she did exceptionally well for a woman. Who would have thought that someone so pretty could do so well in a debate with a man. She kicked ass!!! and she has good legs too!!!

I Am Convinced

Ok. On Thursday I got a knock on my door at three AM and got out of my bed hopping mad, ready for a fight. Instead of a fight, I had milk and cookies with two of my most admired people in the world. You guessed it. Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris were at my door here in the suburb of Garden Grove, California. I tell you it knocked my socks off!!!

Chuck did most of the talking. He said that both of them were following my blog and they knew that it influenced a lot of people. The only thing Mike said was that he was honored that I was so faithful to him and believed in him.

Chuck let me know in no uncertain terms that Huckabee meant what he said when he spoke about supporting the Republican Candidates.

That's enough for me.

To prove that it was not a dream, I have posted a photo above of Chuck Norris and Mike Huckabee in my kitchen.

I hearby endorse John McCain for the presidency!!!

Don't Try To Fool Me With Fake E-Mails!!!

I have received a private e-mail which was trying to get me to knock off my campaign to get Mike Huckabee to run for a third party for the White House. Well, you didn't fool me. That E-mail was as fake as a queer two dollar bill.

If Mike Huckabee wasn't speaking against his will at the convention in Minnesota, then let him contact me in person.

There is only one person who can convince me to change my vote to McCain.

It's Huckabee.

I am Not Giving Up Until Told By Huckabee Himself

I couldn't get over why I got this queezy feeling when Mike Huckabee was endorsing John McCain and Sara Palin at the Republican Convention in Denver, then it hit me. I was queezy because he was drugged up. How else can you explain a great man like Mike Huckabee relinquishing a vice presidency that should have been his...to a woman small town mayor who forgot to tell her daughter not to have sex!!!

I am fighting mad. I won't quit my campaign to draft Mike Huckabee to run as a third party candidate until the man contacts me himself and I can drug test him.

Even McCain's wife would be a better VP than the one he chose. Who cares if she is hot?!

I am fighting mad.

It's Huckabee.

News Alert, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

Everyone tune in to the Republican National Convention tonight. Governor Mike Huckabee is scheduled to do a major speech.

Open Letter to Mike Huckabee, Urgent!!!

Dear Mike,

I hope you are having a nice time in Arkansas. Enough with the formalities--you have to get up and back into the ring. Your vacation is over!!! You have been drafted by the blogosphere, specifically, The Porcupine Taxi!!!

Our "friend" John McCain has passed you over for vice president. I am so sorry. In an effort to make the press stop talking about Obama's boring speech last night, he decided to nail the first woman who walked into the bar and who came through the door? Hell, I don't remember her name even, but she is not you!!!

With McCain's weak health and high cholesterol, WE NEEDED YOU TO BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENCY. Now we realize we need you to be a heartbeat in the presidency.

Mike Huckabee, I nominate you for the first third party run that will win. How will we do it? With the other nominees from the other parties, who I will not mention, you are a shoe in. It will be a piece of cake. Our new slogan is...

Run Mike, Run!!!

Obama Disses Hillary

Well, it looks as if people from the democrat party are jumping ship, they are so mad that Obama didn't choose Hillary as his running mate. Man, after all those votes she got, he didn't even put her on the short list!!! It is as if Obama doesn't care at all about women.

Almost all Hillary supporters have decided to vote for McCain. That is what the latest survey reports. They say that Obama is just too shifty and inexperienced, so they will go with the original maverick...

John McCain

Bush is a Good Judge of Character

If Bush says that he looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes and "was able to sense his soul," then Putin is obviously a stand-up kind of guy who will probably help the Georgians as much as we helped the Iraqis. I just wish the press would stop looking at this peacekeeping action as a bad thing.

By the way, Condie knows exactly what she is doing over there. Just stay tuned.

McCain Sees Exactly who Is To Blame

This just out of the LA Times:

LIMA, OHIO -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain said today that the nation's energy crisis is a direct result of congressional failure and called on Congress, now in a five-week summer recess, to get back to work.

McCain is right. This do-nothing congress has gotten us up this creek and we pay so many taxes that we can't even afford to buy a paddle!

McCain knows because he is has been a member of congress, the senate, for years. He is part of our government and knows how it works. Nothing goes on there without him knowing through his experience and connections.

Let me add that Barack Obama is a part of this congress, so he is part of the problem. He is a Senator from Chicago and he should stop all this campaigning and get back to work.

Hey, I am tired of putting my taxi in neutral and coasting down hills in order to save gas. We need to drill for coal now!

Obama's Trip Proves He Can't Be Leader

Barack Obama (My neighbor's three year old refers to him as broken cereal bowl, how cute.) has shown one thing by traveling to Europe and doing all those speeches: First of all, who would want to be cheered by a bunch of Germans? Isn't that exactly what Hitler did? And number two, nobody knew what the heck he was talking about. Those Germans speak German, they don't speak English. They were so confused that they probably thought he was Tiger Woods, so they cheered and applauded every time he paused. Obama should take a page from JFK's playbook: learn one line of German and then just keep repeating it!

By the way, it looks like McCain is on the verge of naming Huckabee for VP. Told you so!

Obama Supports Faith-Based Initiatives--Watch out for that one

Obama has said that he supports "some faith based initiatives which have been successful" in an effort to woe conservative voters. Sorry, this is one conservative who won't take the bait. Read the next paragraph and I will tell you exactly why.

When Obama says he is in favor of "Faith" based initiatives, most people think he is talking about the old ladies at the church making a meal for the homeless on Thanksgiving, or a group of clean cut Christians putting on a play about how a drug addict changed his life when he was saved by Christ. What Obama means is completely different. When Obama says "faith" based initiatives he means Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Moslem, Pagan, and even Devil worshippers!!! Then the left over pennies might be tossed in the collection plate of your or my Christian church. Sorry, this won't fly with me. Let the terrorists pay for their own flight schools!!! LOL.

Don't Believe Obama's Lapel Pin

Barak Osama, I mean Obama, has taken to wearing a little American flag lapel pin. It is his way of camouflaging the fact that he hates America, like all the liberals. I don't know if any of the liberal press has the guts to do this, but I challenge them to measure the size of Obama's flag pin. I will wager dollars to doughnuts that McCain's American flag lapel pin is bigger. Something just doesn't sit right with a candidate who flip-flops his way into wearing a lapel pin, when, if reporters searched him, would probably have a copy of the Koran in his pocket.

C'mon. McCain was in the Hanoi Hilton. He deserves to be president.

Is Obama's Wife a Raving Lunatic?

Everyone in Washington is making bets about when Michelle Obama is going to crack. She really seems to hate shaking hands and smiling at all of those inconvenient white people. She grits her teeth like Aunt Jemima at the end of a long photo shoot and says, "It's so nice to meet you." Then she mutters something under her breath. I bet that is the reason she hates McCain so much. He is so white he is transparent.

It seems to me that she is going to crack. Her voodoo curses are going to come back and bite her in the 100% hindsight!!!

LOL.

Our Duty is To Mine for Coal

The USA has more coal than anybody. All we have to do is dig it up. Modern technology has reached a point where we can replace wasted space at the tops of mountains with open-pit coal mines which can serve everybody. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to drive a Hummer SUV. You deserve it as an American. God gave us the bounty of coal, but it is up to us to get it. Let's start digging.

Democrats Are Driving Up Oil Prices

I hope that people have noticed that it is because the Democrat Party has taken over congress that the price of gasoline has skyrocketed. Tax and spend, that is all they do. When are they going to learn to be part of the solution and not part of the problem?

Thank God that President Bush is sending me an economic stimulus check! God bless him.

The Oil Companies Will Get Us Out of this Mess

I truely believe that the big oil companies will get us out of this four dollar a gallon gasoline mess. They are the only ones equipped to do the research so that we can get alternative sources of energy from coal or surplus corn. Did you know that if Mexicans just stopped eating tortillas for one day, the world's supply of fuel would be taken care of for three months? Since the Mexicans are the second most obese country, I believe they could use the diet.

We must let our American oil companies drill for oil in the Alaskan wildlife refuge in order to buy them time to complete their research. I guarentee that Rudolf the red nosed reindeer will not mind a pipeline or two.

Thirdly, if any of our do-nothing senators tries to pass any law which cuts the windfall profits of the oil companies, write a sharply worded letter and explain to him (or her) that they can't solve the problems without money for research, and that's what we all need--to solve the problem.

Believe me, I am a taxi driver and I know about fuel.

Obama? Are you Kidding Me?!

I am sorry, but Osama, I mean, Obama is the best the Democrat Party can come up with? It seems to me that we might as well cancel the election. Obama would have a better chance of winning on the reality show "Pimp My Geek."

What with his giant feet and big ears, he looks like one of those characters from Fat Albert all grown up. He talks like Al Sharpton trying to be white. His wife, who hates America, looks like she's trying to copy Condeleeza Rice's hair- do but with cheaper hair products. She had better not stand still in the wax museum for too long or some janitor may try to dust her. And why doesn't he wear old glory on his lapel? Would it kill him to respect the USA?

I tell you: It won't fly in Garden Grove, where I am from, and it certainly won't fly in the USA.

I was originally a Huckabee man, but now I tell you there is only one thing that John McCain needs to win my support.

That thing is Wacko Bama.

Democratic Debate In PA Shows Slim Pickings

While I was unclogging my toilet I noticed that the Democrat debate from Pennsylvania came on my new big screen plasma TV, so I decided to watch between plunges.

Man, Obama and Hillary really hate each other. At one point Obama's face turned purple because he was so mad when a patriotic newsman asked him why he didn't wear an American flag pen on his lapel. He didn't have an answer. He didn't want to say the truth (that he hates America) so he turned to Hillary and, you guessed it. Either I was plunging too hard or I heard him say it. He pretended to cough but he really said "B**CH.

Hillary didn't score any points either, when she first admitted that she made up the story about snipers shooting at her in Bosnia but then showed a scar on her thigh which she insisted was from one of their bullets.

Democrats suck!!!

McCain is going to win and his vice president will be Huckabee. Long live Huckabee!!!

A Slave is Not a Strong Leader

I am getting so tired of the liberal talking heads quoting half-baked studies that say more Americans than ever feel that the USA is on the wrong track. I suspect that a lot of illegal aliens participated in that particular poll. Maybe some French tourists as well. Anyway, everyone I know agrees that the US is on the right track, but lets just pretend that there is something to that poll. What would that say about our leaders?

I'll tell you what it says. It says that our leaders, Bush and Cheny will not be cowed, will not be intimidated, will be leaders. The job of a leader is to lead. The administration is just showing us that they are true leaders. They are doing what has to be done, no matter how unpopular it is.

I am proud of them.

Sure Way to Stop Global Warming

The theory of global warming states that excess carbon dioxide emissions are making this planet like a greenhouse. Don't greenhouses make plants grow better? Hello?! Don't we like plants to grow well? We need to grow plenty of corn and other foodcrops for our next generation of bio-fuels. Wouldn't it be perfect? Instead of building a giant greenhouse, we make the world into one.

People say the glaciers are melting and the polar bears are running out of turf...Who needs glaciers anyway? I am sure Disney can mock up some glaciers that are even more interesting than the real ones. I already know that they can make some excellent animatronic bears.

Well, I guess you are thinking that my title is a little misleading. I wrote that title as a way of tricking the tree huggers into reading this. They need to face the truth and accept it. You drive cars, too. Don't you, tree huggers?

The Democrats Want 4000 Americans Heros to die in Vain

The Democrats have been jumping around shouting "Cut and run! Cut and run!" as if four-thousand is some kind of magic number which means we should abandon our duties in Iraq. Let me point out something: Four-thousand is just three thousand ninety nine plus one!

That's right. Why were those liberals waiting for the number of war casualties to get so high? I will tell you. They want America to look bad.

President Bush pointed it out very succinctly: Most of the families of the heroes who have died would like their family members not to have died in vain. We must respect their wishes and keep fighting until our objectives are met and we have won the war on terror.

In 2001 we were brutally attacked with our own airplanes, which were hijacked by Arabs. We entered Iraq, an Arabic country, with a proud mindset to find Saddam's hidden weapons of mass destruction. Let me tell you something: We are gonna find those suckers.

Mark my words.

Floridians Still Don't Know How To Vote

The funniest laughfest of the day is when the newscasters start talking about Florida voters. Man, those fools still don't know how to vote. It seems that the Democrats moved their primary up into January when they were too hung over from New Years parties to be able to count the votes.

Those who voted for Hillary thought they were voting for Martha Stewart and those who voted for Obama thought they were voting for Bill Cosby.

It seems that a manatee tried to vote for Nader.

Those Floridians: Fruits and Nuts.

LoL and LmAO.!!!!!!

President Embraces John McCain

Since President Bush now has thrown the huge weight of his support to John McCain, well, who am I to argue with the commander and chief of the free world?

If Chuck Norris says that McCain is so old that he will probably drop dead in the oval office, well, he is just a crazy actor reading from an old script.

Or crazy like a fox.

I've got a great idea for a veep for McCain:

It's Huckabee.

The Huckabee Surge will Hit November Like a Sunami!!!

Polls show that people are tired of closet-liberal John McCain pretending to be a conservative. People are also tired of the debates in the democratic camp about who will proudly raise taxes more. It seems that Huckabee is the name circulating around at all the mega-churches. It feels like the traditional values people will do it again and keep God in the White House--with God's help, of course.

It's Huckabee.

What to Do On a Friday Night

I would look at the debate between Barako Bama and Hillary Clinton this weekend, but I have something better to do. I am going to go watch a ping-pong ball get thrown off a bridge. LoL.

Huckabee or not To Be?

Anyone who doesn't vote for Huckabee for president of the United States is a total idiot who hates God. There I said it. People have been hounding me for my opinion about the presidential race for months and I have refrained from giving my opinion because I want my readers to form their own opinions after I present them with the facts, fair and balanced.

I can't stand it any more. When John McCain, that geriatric coward POW who got out of combat by allowing himself to get captured appeared on the cover of Time Magazine. I was ready to scream. Why doesn't the liberal media play fair? Huckabee is the true conservative who can carry on Bush's legacy.

It's Huckabee.

Bush Comforts Tornado Victims

Those tornado victims in Tennessee are sure lucky to have a president like President Bush. He took time out of his busy schedule to go down there and comfort them--and he isn't even running for re-election.

More evidence that although he it tough, he is compassionate.

By the way, it looks like they are going to put those 5 terrorists on trial in Guantanamo. Ha ha. They don't have a chance! They already confessed to everything!

I love America. We always win.

Hillary and Obama Hate Each Other So Much

I got a kick out of watching that California debate between Hillary and Obama. They hate each other so much. You could tell that Hillary was wishing that Bill weren't so geriactric so he could kick Obama's skinny ass. And Obama, you could tell that he wanted to hand Hillary a broom so she could fly away. Ha Ha Ha. She is so devisive and he is so inexperienced for the job.

There is no way around it. President Huckabee.

The State of the Union was Spot-on!

The State of the Union address last night was a work of art. Every time the camera focused on those Democrats in the audience you could see the guilt all over their faces. They were ashamed to be there, what with their pork barrel projects and do-nothing work ethic.

As Bush repeatedly pointed out how they have screwed up, congress looked like a scolded child listening to a speech by a renaissance genius like Leonardo Da Vinci.

Oh, our only hope is Jeb. Otherwise, this is the last Bush State of the Union for a while.

Pray for the USA.

Are We Ready For A Mormon In the White House?

According to the Mormons, who are also known as the "ladder day saints" on account of they will need one heck of a ladder to reach Heaven, the angel Macaroni visited a man named Joseph Smith and gave him golden tablets with the Book of Mormon printed on them.

He promptly lost them.

I don't think we need anyone from such a scatterbrained religion in the White House at this time. Imagine this scenario:

President Romney: Drop the big one on Iraq!
Advisor: But Mr. President we have troops there.
President Romney: Oops! My bad. I meant Iran.

Sorry. I will vote for Romney when they find those golden tablets. We still have plenty of good Republican candidates. We'll get the white house.

Is America Ready for A Black or a Woman President?

The question in the title is actually a misnomer. Really the answer is this: It depends on who. Sure it is possible to have an African American or a Woman president. I will be the first to admit, some women, like my mother, are even smarter than men! Some African Americans excel in areas other than music and sports.

Hillary Clintion? I don't think so. She wasn't very smart when she chose her husband, was she?

Barack Obama? (rhymes with Osama), I don't think so. He couldn't even make a free throw. If he was so smart, then why did he move from Hawaii to Illinois?!

Ann Coulter would be a perfect president, she would be a breath of fresh air, and she is pretty as well! Unfortunately, she has too much job security. Yes, I guess it is possible to do your job too well.

My nomination would be for Condi Rice. She is going to be sending out resumes soon, and she has proven that she is top-notch. Her record speaks for itself. Plus, did anyone notice? She is black and a woman.

Yes, we are ready for an African American and a women in the oval office!

Congrats to The New England Patriots

I'll bet a lot of non-believers will show up at church services now that Tom Brady has lead the New England Patriots to an undefeated regular season. You see, that perfect season is a perfect example of the power of prayer. The Patriots got together and prayed for God's help before each game, and they got it.

If you ask, then God will be happy to give. Remember that little piece of truth as we roll into 2008. Prayer works wonders .

I think I see a super bowl ring for Tom Brady.

Happy Holidays, I Don't Think So!

Long ago the Druids, godless plant worshippers in barbarian Europe, implemented a conspiracy to undermine Christmas. Part of their conspiracy that still persists is the Christmas tree. These athiests (some say Satanists) specifically chose the tree as a symbol because they knew it was bushy enough to cover up the manger scene already in many houses and huts. DON'T BE A PAWN. DON'T BUY CHRISTMAS TREES!

Then in 313 AD, the Romans who were still clinging to Zeus and the other Olympian gods, erected a temple to the sun god, Helios, right next to a Christian Church approved by Emperor Constantine, the first Christian emperor. Helios was dressed up in, you guessed it, a red suit, cap and white beard. If you have any images of Santa Claus in your house, you are breaking the first commandment, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me!"

Next time someone says to you, "Happy holidays," tell them, "I don't think so. MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Keeping the Christ in Christmas,

Porcupinetaxi

California Doesn't Get its Holier than thou Air Waiver

The Federal government said it would deny California’s bid to set stricter vehicle emissions standards than federal law required as part of the state’s efforts to fight climate change. Sorry California.

Who's going to want to live in a state where everyone has to drive a scooter with a smog device? Or a state where honest, small businessmen have to invest 150% of their profits on unsightly smokestack filters?

It seems that the powers that be don't want you to commit suicide by driving all the business out of your state. What good is fresh clean air if you don't have enough money to enjoy it!?

California, get a brain. You have a little smog. Get over it!

Tom Tancredo Shows Class

Tom Tancredo is the only Republican running for president who refused to participate in that sham of a Mexican slam, the Univision Presendential Forum in Spanish. Cudos to him. This is America! We didn't kick the Mexicans' ass in a war so that they could take over our country. If they want to vote, tell them what Tom said: "Learno Englisho!"

All the Fruits and Nuts Roll To Florida

It used to be that the United States was described as a melting pot. Then the popular metaphor was a salad bowl. In the days before Arnold, our governator, took the helm, people said that California was the place where all the fruits and nuts collected in the salad bowl. Well now we know where they have gone, right where we suspected: Florida.

The Florida government has decided to maintain the blubbering manatee on the endangered species list, when actually manatees are now doing better than ever. They have bounced back so well that they are becoming a real problem with there antics of swimming into boat propellers and lumbering around construction zones, interrupting development. It is not like these are a bunch of cute little baby seals. These animals are huge. What's more, they actually damage the environment with the way they swim. As they browse around our coasts and rivers, their huge flippers on the rears of their tails churn up lead, arsenic, and other toxic pollutants which would remain harmless on the sea floor for eternity if it weren't for these lumbering dinosaurs of the seal family.

Dinosaurs, that is what they are. Shouldn't they be extinct already?

I Nominate Condi Rice For Peace Prize

Mark my words, I want to be the first one to say it on the blogosphere. Condi Rice is going to bring peace to the middle east and win the Nobel Peace Prize.

She has taken on a huge job, getting those Jews and Arabs to the peace table. But if anyone can do it she can. We have seen how well she has crafted our strategy in Iraq. It seems that Iraq is so nice now that some of the US soldiers don't want to come home!

Another advantage is that as an African American woman, Condi can "give the look" to those Jews and Arabs. You know, open her eyes really wide while she is staring at them. They will think she is doing some kind of voodoo on them. They will be too scared to keep fighting.

I bet she will even be able to talk them into coming to services at her church, and shouting a few hallelujahs!

Porcupinetaxi Salutes The Troops

I send this one out to the troops so that they will know how much we appreciate all of their sacrifices to keep us free. I know how horrible it is out there in Iraq, crawling in the dust, eating second rate food, and always worried that the ground is going to blow up. I am so grateful that, on a beautiful day like today, I can go out to the beach in my SUV, look at all the pretty girls in bikinis, and say anything I want to the waiter in a restaurant.

If we were in another country the woman would be dressed in pup tents and we would be riding camels and I couldn't complain about the service or I would get my throat cut.

So thank you troops. You are number one. This Veterans' Day I salute you with a frosty mug of beer in this beachside restaurant with my laptop.

The Senate is Disrespectful to Overide the President's Veto

We look like fools in the eyes of the world when the government of the US contradicts itself. I am talking about the congress overriding President Bush's Veto of a bill that was just too darn expensive. I honestly wonder if Osama Bin Laden is paying off some of those Democrats so that they will screw up the government.

The veto they overrode was a law for some water conservation massive boondoggle project that, among other things, would clean up and protect the Everglades in Florida. It doesn't make any sense. Why would they clean up the Everglades if all of South Florida is going to be under water anyway? Right!!? Holier than thou Nobel prize winner Al Gore keeps saying that global warming will put Florida under ten feet of water. The Democrat Party obviously doesn't believe its own propaganda because you can't have it both ways. They wouldn't clean it up if they honestly believed it was going under water.

I say respect the president's veto. As for Florida we can all say, "It's all water under the bridge!" LOL.

They are Packin' Heat in Pakistan!

We really need to support the government of that dictator in Pakistan. He understands that it just doesn't work with those guys to have democracy. I mean, how can you let a bunch of bearded guys in linen robes choose the leader of a country. I am not saying that they are stupid, just ignorant for not picking up our customs from watching our movies. Most of them carry a Koran in their pocket. The only reason I would carry one of those is for if I run out of toilet paper. I am sorry, but it it true. The Bible is older, from the real God, and that settles it.

It is better to have a strongman, just as long as he is our friend.

Do you know the main reason? They got the bomb! If they vote democratically, they might pick that fumble fingers woman or worse, Osama Bin Laden as president!

What will happen then?

Boom!

Give Our Blackwater Boys Some Slack

Our Blackwater Corporation Mercenery boys are doing a heck of a job and we really need to cut them some slack. They are in Iraq specifically to do the jobs that the US military doesn't want to do. They get paid more because they are worth it. Nobody can say that they are not well trained because they were all trained by the US military.

By hiring private Blackwater soldiers, we shrink the ranks of the federal bureaucracy.

How Are Things in California?...Smokin'!

I tell you, living in such a bleeding heart liberal state really sticks in my craw sometimes. Get this: Smoke is everywhere, there is so much ash in the air that everyone looks like either Jed Clampett or Grandma Moses. I can barely see, through the smoke in the mini-mart, whether I am reaching for a Coke or a Pepsi!

Well, just as I am about to grab my Coke, this guy with a turban asks me to "Please extinguish" my cigarette. First of all, Americans don't use words like extinguish. Second of all, that turban on his head made him look like Osama Bin Laden's camel groomer.

I told him that it didn't make any sense for me to put out my cigarette, since everyone was breathing so much smoke anyway. Imagine that guy, traveling halfway around the world to bother me and infringe on my rights!

Although nobody else in the store said anything, I noticed that they sympathized with me. I lit another cigarette with the first one and paid for my soda pop.

Finally Someone is Talking Sense on The Networks

My cable went out and I couldn't get Fox News, so I tuned into regular network TV with this little gem of a TV I got for free when one of my fares forgot it in my taxi. I was pleasantly surprised to hear some sense coming out of ABC! You are probably one step ahead of me; you are right. I am talking about John Stossel.

Stossel is one of the few journalists on ABC who has the gutts to tell it like it is. He had several experts on the show, "20-20" who pointed out the secret that the liberals don't want you to know: Global warming may be a good thing. If it gets warmer in the north of the US, we will be able to grow crops there which never grew in that region, thus helping millions of hungry people by selling them food. Also, all that doom and gloom about low lying areas being flooded is just that--doom and gloom designed to scare our kids. No area anywhere in the USA is in danger of being flooded under ten feet of water overnight. It just isn't going to happen that fast.

So relax people. No need to worry about global warming. Let me end this with a quotation: "Give me a break!" John Stossel is on the job!

Gore Gets Peace Prize, BFD!

Apparently Al Gore got the Nobel Peace Prize for his movie about the poor little polar bears who can't find any ice flows to ride on. Boo Hoo, I say. Doesn't Gore know that if he, or one of his kids were on one of those ice flows with one of those polar bears, the bear would shread him or his kids to ribbons?

Tell me, what kind of father is that?

Nobel Peace Prize? I still say we should just give him a popsicle!

New York City Invites Turmoil

I just heard that New York City wants to pass a law to give illegal aliens drivers licenses. Excuse me, but are they stuck on stupid!?

Giving these people a license to drive is like handing out condums at the local high school. These people may not speak mucho English, but they will get the message: The Fast and The Furious, Part III!

It will be Tijuana Taxi time 24/7! I wonder how many New Yorkers will die because of some guy named Pepito driving around who can't see because he splashed hot sauce in his eye!

Let them Sell Lemonade if They Want Health Insurance!

Thank God for the president's veto pen. He just saved the USA from a huge debacle which would have totally socialized medicine for children in a Soviet-style "Hillarycare" scheme guarenteed to suck the coffers of the taxpayers' money dry. Kids need their parents to take responsibility for them and purchase reasonable health insurance from U.S. companies. Now, that is the way to keep the economy strong!

Besides, now that we are winning in Iraq, shifting funds from the war on terror would be just what Osama Bin Laden would want.